Welcome to The PUA School. This site provides a condensed guide to the art of seduction – also known as the game. The game is not about getting laid. It is about forming loving, intimate relationships with women. The game is also not about manipulating women. It is about the mutual experience of giving women what they want and in return getting what you want – whether a female friend, a lover, a girlfriend or a wife. What this site will teach you is not a trick or technique, but a lifestyle – the lifestyle of the alpha male. A man who has power and choice with women.

This is an area of life that we do not want to leave to chance. As men, this is something we really want to get handled. We do not want to sit around and wait for the women to come to us, to have it happen by chance. We want to be in control of this, in a position of power. The good news is that, as with most things in life, the game is a learnable skillset. You can learn how to attract, seduce and form relationships with women. What is more, with the right game plan you can learn this in a matter of months.

Let the game begin.

Mikael Olsson, Author

Game Plan

There is a universal courtship sequence that happens between humans. We all essentially go through the same steps from meeting a partner to forming a sexual relationship with them. If you know the steps and know how to move from one to the next, it becomes easy.

From meeting a woman to beginning a sexual relationship with her goes through three fundamental stages: Attraction, Comfort and Seduction. First you have to attract her, by demonstrating your value to the woman and making her interested in you. This leads to comfort building, where you take the time to get to know her and to get comfortable with her. Lastly, you have mutual seduction. Once the woman is attracted to you, and comfortable being with you, she is going to want to be seduced or may even seduce you.

Courtship phases

The game plan that will be used in this guide is the M3 model. This is a linear game plan that splits up the three stages of courtship into nine phases. These phases are:

A1 – Opening
A2 – Female→Male Attract
A3 – Male→Female Attract
  • Comfort
  • C1 – Connection
    C2 – Trust
    C3 – Intimacy
  • Seduction
  • S1 – Foreplay
    S2 – Last Minute Resistance
    S3 – Sex

    Having a game plan allows you to refine the steps as you go along. You will be able to calibrate where you are and how to move forward. This multilayered game plan also opens the possibility for multiple goals. It can be applied no matter what you are looking for – whether a sex friend, a lover, a girlfriend or a wife.


    Within each phase you will be using practiced routines, so that you are not reinventing your communication all the time but instead refining it. You will be talking about similar ideas in similar ways. However, that does not mean you will be saying the same thing to everybody you meet.

    The irony of having a game plan and routines thought out in advance is that things will seem more natural than if you approach a girl without any preparation. It also means that you will be able to progress much quicker than if you did not have a plan.

    Accelerated Dating

    To find the right girl for you, you will have to go through a few. Spending months getting to know a girl before you find out that you do not have much in common is not a good strategy. You should use an accelerated dating program instead, and that is what this guide will teach you.

    Even if you have a special girl in mind, if you are not able to attract her you need to develop your skill set with many other girls first. The way to get the specific woman you want is to get good with women in general. If you know how to get women, you will know how to get that girl. The confidence and social skills you build learning to be good with women will also spread to other areas of your life.

    With a good game plan it takes four to ten hours, or on average seven hours, from meeting a woman all the way to beginning a sexual relationship with her. It may take you a week to gather those hours, but usually one to three days. While this may not seem like a lot of time, it will be more than enough to get to know the girl and to decide whether you want to spend more time with her. Remember that this is not the traditional courtship game where you spend weeks of dating, delaying what was there in the first moment after you met.


    Attraction is the feeling one has toward another person when they have sexual interest in them. It is an emotion felt similarly by both men and women, but for completely different reasons. Attraction is not a process that happens by choice. A woman cannot consciously choose to feel attraction any more than a man can. It is an unconscious process that happens in response to certain traits. If a man displays these traits the woman will be turned on, just as when a man sees a hot woman.

    If a woman feels attraction for a man, then nothing else matters. The man does not have to be her type, match her expectations or conform to her preferences. She will want to be with him regardless of any of that. It is deeper then logic, social conditioning, religious belief or peer approval. It can trigger a complete restructure of the values a woman says she wants in a man.

    Attraction circuitry

    Men's attraction circuitry is hardwired for fitness indicators. That is why waist-to-hip ratio, facial symmetry, breast size and body shape are all so important for men's judgment. For a woman, value is not as simple as looks. Women are attracted to fit, tall, good looking guys, but they do not put as much weight on physical traits as men do when choosing women. They may think they do logically, but what women respond to is different. Their attraction circuitry is more honed towards social status, which is derived from the man's personality. Essentially, attraction is 80% personality and 20% looks for women, and the other way around for men.

    We have value judging circuits embedded in our minds designed to help us choose an attractive mate, meaning one that has good genes. Just as men can instantly judge the attractiveness of a woman, so too can she instantly give an initial evaluation of how attractive a man is. The man's attraction value however is not as static as a woman's value is to a man. It will rise or fall in an interaction as his personality is exposed to her. To give a metaphor, attraction for men is like a light switch whereas for women it is a volume knob.


    Social status is very intimately connected to female attraction. The basic formula is that females use signs of fitness to attract high status males and males use high status to attract fit females. Your status is your social standing, where you stand in a group. Women are attracted to men whom they perceive as having higher status than themselves and not to men who convey lower status. You simply cannot make a woman feel attracted to you by communicating lower status. This is a key principle in the courtship game - never communicate lower status. Put another way, make sure that you are very obviously cooler than the girl is at all times. Let this principle guide all your communication and actions in order to trigger and maintain attraction. Most mistakes men make with women somehow relate to breaking this principle.

    The amazing thing about status is that it is mostly about your self-image. You do not have to be rich, famous or the head of a large company. If you believe you have higher status, and thereby behave as if you do, then you will have it. A large part of our brain is dedicated to reading social dynamics and we can instantly tell a person's social standing based on their body language, posture and other communication. If you communicate higher status, then you will be higher status. You can walk up to any woman and just start acting as if you have higher status, and as long as you are congruent she will respond to that. She will treat you differently from most guys who unconsciously take on a low status self-image in the presence of attractive women.

    To have success with women you need to see yourself as high status. As a high status person you do not try to get status, you just assume you have it. That is how you walk through the world. You see yourself as important and do not allow others to disrespect you or your time. High status men do not seek approval from women or accept second-class behavior. They do not make excuses, apologize for who they are or allow women to control them or their emotions. Instead they lead with confidence and expect others to follow, because they make their lives better. Keep in mind that a high status man will typically have very little drama and confrontation in life, because everyone just accepts and respects his status. It is the men who do not have status and are striving for it that will have all the drama.

    Attractive traits

    When it comes to attracting women being a man is generally good advice. Women respond powerfully to masculine traits in men. The most important of these traits, or status indicators, are: dominance, confidence, humor and warmth. These are attributes of your personality that when displayed translate into sexiness for women.

    1. Dominance – Be decisive, ambitious, strong and independent. Lead yourself from one enjoyable experience to the next, in a way that makes others want to follow you.
    2. Confidence – Be cool, calm and composed. Have a strong belief in yourself and what you are saying and doing.
    3. Humor – Be playful, optimistic, unpredictable and fun to be around, as opposed to boring or serious.
    4. Warmth – Be kind, caring and protective to those who have earned your trust.

    These are the foremost traits of the alpha man, the man who has power and choice with women. However, having these traits is not enough. To trigger attraction you need to be able to convey them effectively in your interactions with women.

    Most men do not display these traits and so a man who does display them, especially all of them, will stand out to women. Keep in mind that these traits are communicated mostly through your body language and tonality, as opposed to the words you use.

    Cultivating attractiveness

    Most men have never considered the idea that a woman can feel a response similar to the one that men feel when they see an attractive woman. Even less common is the insight that any man can develop these traits. As humans we have the unique ability to develop our attractiveness. In this regard, attraction is actually stacked up very favorably for men. By cultivating the traits of the alpha man, and by improving your styles of communication, you can become the guy that women find attractive. And whenever you improve some part of your communication you will not have to think about it anymore. It becomes a part of who you are.

    Lover and Provider

    When it comes to courtship men will usually fall into one of two different mindsets – lover or provider. A provider will try to court the woman and win her affection with attention, compliments, dinner, gifts and other favors. In response to this behavior the woman will typically withhold sex, play hard to get and test him to see how good of a provider he will be. By proving himself repeatedly over a long period of time the woman may develop affection for the man, but not attraction.

    The lover, on the other hand, sees himself as the prize in the interaction. He conveys to women that he embodies the traits of the alpha man, and the women love him for it. As a result, they will feel attraction for him and will get physically involved with him very quickly. He does not have to deal with the issues the provider has to deal with. If he chooses to get into a relationship he will be in control of it and decide how far it goes.

    Irrespective of which relationship you want to have with women, you want to take the frame of the lover. You should project early on in your interactions that you have the characteristics of the alpha man and that it is not part of your world view to chase after her.

    A1 – Opening

    The first step of the game plan is the opening. When you see a girl you want to get to know you approach her or her group. To get the conversation going you deliver an opener. By appearing as if you have to leave soon you disarm their initial objections. As they open up to a conversation with you, you sit down to join them and stack forward into other routines. In short, A1 consists of the following five steps:

    Approach – Approach the group.
    Open – Open with an indirect opener.
    FTC – Throw in the false time constraint.
    Lock in – Lock yourself into the group.
    Stack forward – Transition into other routines.

    Group Theory

    Attractive girls are seldom found alone in social venues. They will usually be found in groups of three or more people. When you approach a group you are going to have to address the whole group and not just your target girl, otherwise her friends may cut your visit short. Talking to her group is also one way of demonstrating confidence. Furthermore, once you have befriended the girl's peer group getting her approval is going to be much easier.

    Interacting with a group is not necessarily harder than talking to a single girl. You can use the same topics and routines. A group setting does however present some additional social dynamics that you need to be aware of. For example, if it is a group of two girls you may have trouble isolating your target girl without the aid of a friend that can occupy the other girl. Likewise, if there are guys in the group you need to make sure the girl you want is not in a relationship with any one of them.

    If the girl is alone, chances are she has friends in the venue. Nevertheless, that is an opportunity to engage her without having to engage her peer group if that is your preference.


    The most consistent way to approach a girl or her group is to come up beside them and open over the shoulder. Facing slightly away from them with your body, get their attention and deliver the opener. If you walk straight towards them, facing them directly, you are showing a lot of interest and it will make them less comfortable. After the opener do not turn in towards them immediately. Instead, wait until they turn towards you to turn in as well. It puts the girls in the position of the pursuer and women love that. It shows that you are a challenge.

    It is a bad idea to hover around the group waiting for a pause in their interaction. That is low status behavior. You should go in immediately, as if it is completely spontaneous, and position yourself next to the group. If it is a single girl and she does not notice you, tap on her shoulder to get her attention, and then deliver your opener. Do not wait for her to acknowledge you to start talking, because you may not get it. If what you are saying is interesting she will turn. Being in your own reality, you do not need to wait for the girls to acknowledge your reality.

    Favorable contrast

    Attractive women are approached in one way or another all the time. They must disqualify men fast. There is no way that they can afford to spend time with all the men that are interested in them, and so to make things easy women will make instant judgment calls and give the cold shoulder to most of the men they meet.

    Out in public most women are in judgment mode. If you as a man walk into that game as one of many players you are going to lose. To get past the initial screening process you have to communicate both verbally and non-verbally that you are different, that you have value and that you are there to offer value to them, not to take value from them.

    Your value is communicated through your high-status body language, tonality and attitude, and you offer value by making the girls have fun. You achieve this through your routines and also by approaching the group with a slightly higher energy level than they are currently having. By making them have a better time than they were having before, they are going to like you and want to be around you.


    The opener is a routine used to initiate a conversation with a girl or her group. In contrast to a pickup line, the opener is more social and does not come across as you trying to bring them back for sex. The opener should be short, canned and indirect.

    Short – Do not open with a long routine. You have no value yet so her attention span is very short – 30 seconds is plenty.
    Canned – Know what you are going to say and exactly how you are going to say it.
    Indirect – Do not hit on her when you approach. Focus on communicating your personality instead.

    Most men feel like they need to say something original to get the woman's attention. When they do that unfortunately they usually end up saying something that is very common. If you instead learn a good opener, even just a simple one, it will usually work much better than if you try to think of something interesting to say on the spot.

    Opener Routines

    Find a single good opener routine to use or create one of your own: one for singles and one for groups. Just a short one to get your foot in the door. Here are a few examples of the first line you can use to construct your openers. Singles first:

    Hey, what's up?
    Hey, I really like your style.
    Hey, you seem to have a really nice energy.
    Hey, you're pretty cute for a short girl.

    Saying "Hey" is a high status way to get their attention. For groups you can start your opener with "Hey guys", which is disarming. By treating them like guys it suggests that you do not want anything from them. Here are a few example opening lines for groups:

    Hey guys, I need a female opinion.
    Hey guys, how is your day/night going?
    Hey guys, I'm out meeting people tonight. How you doing?
    Hey guys, first impression of these sunglasses?

    After the first line, wait for their input to get them to start opening up for a conversation. Then you continue the routine, for example by telling a story that grounds your opener, such as, "Hey guys, having a good time? <Yeah> I am having an unbelievable day. Get this, I'm ..." and you transition into a story as part of the routine.

    Before the A3 phase, you need to provide most of the conversation. You cannot expect the group to be able to contribute much since they do not know you yet. Follow the 90/10 rule, which means you provide 90% of the conversation and they contribute 10% as illusionary input. This means you provide much of the material for them by giving options, for example with yes/no questions. This makes it easier on them as they do not have to contribute a lot at this stage. You need to keep the ball rolling until they are on your team.

    Keep in mind that what you say is not as important as how you say it. Your body language and tonality communicates more than your actual words. As long as you approach with confidence it does not matter much what you say. You do not need some slick line. You are just an awesome guy who is passing by to brighten their day.

    False time constraint

    When approaching a group their initial thought may be how to get rid of you. To get that thought out of their minds you should perform a false time constraint (FTC), to make it appear as if you have to leave soon anyway. That way they can relax and listen to what you have to say.

    There are verbal and nonverbal FTCs. Your main nonverbal FTC is to keep your legs in the "I'm just about to walk away" posture. If necessary, you can complement this with a verbal FTC, such as "I can only stay a minute, cause I have to rejoin my friends". Later you can explain this away. Even if you are out alone it is a good idea to suggest that you have friends in the venue since that helps raise your social status.

    Lock in

    Within the first few minutes you need to lock yourself into the group. There are two reasons for this. First, it allows you to lean back, relax and get them to commit more to the conversation. Second, if you do not do this you can be locked out of the conversation when they turn to talk amongst themselves.

    If they are standing you can slowly step back towards the nearest wall. They will be drawn towards you to hear what you are saying. As you lean back towards the wall you are now surrounded by the group. Their attention is focused on you and they will not be easily distracted by the rest of the room.

    If they are sitting down you should grab a seat and join them. In a loud venue you have the urge to lean in to hear what the others are saying. Do not follow that urge. Leaning in is low status behavior. You should do the opposite. Slowly lean back while you are controlling the flow of the conversation. That way they will lean in towards you, placing you in the high status position. The girls will also feel more comfortable moving towards you than with you moving towards them. Be sure to talk loud enough for everyone in the group to hear you.

    Stack forward

    Stacking means to move from one routine to another. After you have delivered the opener you should transition out of it and onto the next routine in A2. In the beginning, keep your routines short before moving on to longer ones. You can, for example, stack a number of opener routines to get them to warm up to you.

    Female approach invitations

    It is exceedingly rare that a girl who is attracted to a guy will dare to approach him. What girls may do instead is to drop approach invitations, for example by looking at him and smiling. Girls want a guy who is confident enough to walk up to them, because they are afraid to do that for themselves.

    Men have the advantage in that they get to pick and choose which women want to talk to. If you walk into a room and there is a woman you want to meet, you can approach her without any restrictions. It does not matter whether she is checking you out or not. If you want to meet her it is on your terms and it is completely irrelevant what she thinks of you. Of course, if one of the girls you are interested in is already signaling that she is attracted to you she will be more receptive to your approach, but this is not a necessity.


    When you approach women it is a good strategy to always expect the best. Expect that girls will find you attractive, will want to meet with you and take things physical. See the best outcome coming, and if things do not work out – whatever – shake it off and move on to the next. Having this attitude can lead to a lot of success just by itself.

    It is important to do reality checks sometimes, testing the boundaries of what is real and what is make believe, but do not be too concerned with finding limitations for why the interaction would not work. Most girls are open to talking and will be flattered by your approach.


    For the most part, if you are friendly and just having a good time your approaches will go pretty well. However, some girls will instantly disqualify themselves. When you open a girl, pay close attention to her and her responses. If she is anything but friendly and receptive to you, you may want to consider letting her go right then and there. You do not have to dismiss her at the first sign of resistance, but if the girl shows that she has issues even at this stage of the game that is not a good sign.

    Qualify her based on her response and, if she is not what you are looking for, then eject. Say, "It was a pleasure meeting you" and move on. You need to be willing to walk away from any woman who fails to meet your standards. You have high standards and you should let the girl know that. If she behaves in a way you find unacceptable, for example if she is rude or offensive, then call her on it – "That's strike one. Three strikes and you're out." You are the prize in the interaction and you want her to know it early on. Teach her that you do not accept second-class behavior.

    Ejecting may also be necessary at later stages in the game plan. This may happen for any number of reasons – for example if you are outplayed, run out of material or if the conversation is spiraling downwards and you are unable to recover. You may also eject because you find that the girl is not someone you want to spend more time with. For instance, you find out that she is taken, gay, has a bad attitude, or does not want to meet someone new on a romantic basis. Or perhaps she just plain does not like you. Any one of these may be reason enough to disqualify her and end the interaction.

    Approach anxiety

    When it comes to getting good with women, the approach is the step most guys struggle with. More than any other factor this is what holds guys back from getting the women they want. They just do not approach. To illustrate, if you ask a guy if he could approach a girl he finds attractive, most guys would say yes. But if you ask him to actually do it, he will come up with any number of reasons why he cannot or will not approach her. Motivation is not the problem. Men want that feminine energy and affection in their lives, just as women want that powerful, masculine energy. The problem is that guys attach excess meaning to the encounter. They care too much.

    When you approach a girl do not put any great importance on that specific encounter. Just focus on having a fun interaction while you practice your skill. Realize that if this interaction does not work out, there are a hundred other women standing behind her waiting for you. There is no scarcity. It is not worth getting upset over. You can only learn, at worst, and these lessons are priceless. You are just there to see what she is about and to give her a chance to meet you – nothing more, nothing less.

    You can give any girl a chance, but if she does not want to play you do not force her. You just need to eject. There is no loss in the approach, there is only potential for gain. For an investment of a couple of seconds, you have the potential of having an amazing time with a great woman. Sure it may hurt to be rejected, but that is the price you need to pay to live the life you want. Accept it. The experience will always be worth more than the pain it takes to approach.

    Keep in mind that if you go out without approaching any girls, your chances of hooking up are pretty slim. On the other hand, if you talk to 5, 10 or 20 girls, you might just find a few who are interested. As you get better the percentage goes up, but you will not get there without practice.

    A2 – Female to Male Attract

    Once you have the girl's attention in A1 you move on to A2 – Female to Male Attract. In this second phase the goal is to make the girl attracted to you. This is done by demonstrating value to her, mainly by conveying your attractive personality. Through this the girl will become interested in you, which leads to attraction.

    Demonstrations of higher value

    While talking to the girl in A2, make it apparent to her that you are a worthy and interesting guy. You want to convey that you have value and that you are not someone she can just dismiss. This is done through Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs). As a guy, you can demonstrate some value through your looks. For instance, being well groomed, having a sense of style and being physically fit are all DHVs that you can acquire to make it easier to trigger the girl's attraction. However, your main DHVs all come from your personality. These have to be conveyed verbally – or through your actions and body language – during your interaction with the girl.

    DHV routines

    In order to get the girl interested, you need to be interesting. This is what DHV routines are about. They are routines that allow you to command the girl's attention in a fun way, while conveying your attractive personality to her. Before the A2 phase your value is low, but as you perform DHV routines you will push up your status and get her interested in what you have to say. You want to make it apparent that you are doing this for your own amusement, and not to try and get something from her or impress her, as that would have the reverse effect.

    The main DHV routine is storytelling. Convey your identity through interesting, personality-conveying stories that highlight your strengths in entertaining ways. The stories you tell should be taken from your own life, so go through your experiences and write down the best DHV stories you have – stories that show what you have to offer and what makes you the guy that she wants to be with. You should not tell a longwinded story, so cut out the boring parts. Just keep the emotional highs and lows. In addition to being interesting and conveying your personality and strengths, you should embed elements of you being an alpha male into the stories. The foremost attributes of the alpha male that you want to convey are:

    Dominance – You are the leader of your group. A man with power and choice.
    Confidence – You have a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. You get things done and go for what you want in life.
    Fun – You are fun, adventurous and interesting to be around. You are living your life fully.
    Warmth – You are loyal and caring to those who have aligned themselves with you.

    Other DHV routines you can use are, for example, games, cold reading, informational or entertaining pieces, playfulness and teasing. More about these later.

    Indicators of interest

    When a girl is attracted to you she will signal it through Indicators of Interest (IOIs). This will happen both consciously and unconsciously. Some are subtle, others less so. Here are a number of typical IOIs:

    Body orientation – She turns her body, legs or feet towards you.
    Body language – She leans in or uses open, inviting body language.
    Mirroring – She mirrors your actions or aspects of your body language.
    Rapport – She smiles and giggles to show rapport with you.
    Preening – She performs fix-yourself-up gestures, such as letting her hair down or flicking it around.
    Touch – She touches you or herself.
    Eye contact – She has prolonged eye contact.
    Communication – She socially engages you. For example, asks a question about you or invests in storytelling of her own.
    Name exchange – She asks for your name.

    IOI Tests

    If it is not apparent, you can determine the girl's attraction level through IOI tests. Essentially, you perform an action and then judge her reaction. Here are some example tests:

    If you do not say anything, does she reinitiate the conversation?
    If you do a random high five or give her the rock, is she into it?
    If you walk around, does she sort of follow you?
    If you poke her, does she poke you back?
    If you put your hand up, does she take it?
    If you place her hand on your knee, does it stay there?
    If you take her hand and squeeze it, does she squeeze back? If you go limp, does she pick up the slack?
    If you play with her fingers, does she play with yours?
    If you put your arm around her, does she lean in or stay stiff?

    If she does not respond to your test with an IOI do not take it personally. Just keep on running your DHV routines and try again later. Keep in mind that IOI tests are usually subtext. That is, you do not talk about them unless that is part of a routine.

    Using DHV routines and IOI tests, you should elicit three IOIs before you move on to the A3 phase. After A2 you do not need to look for IOIs anymore. Just assume that it is always on, as long as she is still there talking with you. What this will do is that even if the girl is not that into you, your state will stay up and sooner or later she will be into you even if she was not before.

    A3 Waypoint

    Before going off into A3 there is an important question you need to ask when you are in a group setting. The question is, "So, how does everyone know each other?" This is a one liner that will allow you to establish the relationships so that you know how to play the group.

    A3 – Male to Female Attract

    Once the girl is attracted to you it is time to move on to A3, the third Attraction phase. The main point in A3 is to qualify the girl to see if she has the traits that you desire. By qualifying the girl you are also showing that you have high standards and that her looks alone are not enough to win you over. This makes you more attractive than someone who will take anything he can get, and she will be less judgmental about you in return.

    As you qualify the girl you will also be encouraging her to demonstrate high value to you, so that you can indicate your interest to her for legitimate reasons. After all, you cannot just instantly be attracted to her because she is attracted to you. She needs to feel that you are attracted to her for reasons that go beyond her looks. A3 makes the girl feel that you legitimately like her for real reasons. She actually has to work to get you attracted to her. It makes her feel validated and builds a deeper connection.


    A3 needs to take place in isolation, so if the girl is in a group you need to move her away from it before you start. Do not ask her to come with you. Instead set up a situation where the two of you are alone. Here is an example isolation move for the club scene: "Hey, let's go for some fresh air. I want to show you something really cool." Note the small carrot to help motivate her to come with you.

    Take the girl's hand and lead her through the crowd. As you are doing this you can perform an IOI test. Keep your hand loose and see if she picks up the slack. If she does then that is an IOI. You can then escalate into prayer hand holding position, with each finger next to each of hers.

    At the A3 stage of the game you want the girl to start contributing to the conversation. You have displayed your personality and high value so now it is her turn to start working to earn your attention. This is important, because if she does not have to do anything to get you that means the chase is over and you will lose value in her eyes. Girls want a challenge.

    When you arrive at the new location, lean back and wait for her to reinitiate the conversation. If she does, that is an IOI and things are good. You have given her the carrot "I want to show you something really cool" to help her along, so she will likely ask you, "What was it you wanted to show me?" Tell her, "I'll show you in a minute, but before I do…" and switch into a A3 routine, such as, "What do you got going for you more than your looks?"

    A3 Sequence

    The sequence of events that takes place over and over again in A3 are:

    Bait – Ask a question to make her qualify herself to you.
    Hook – Listen to her response.
    Reel in – Indicate your interest.
    Release – Take away what you gave her.

    Start by baiting her with a DHV question. That is, ask her a question that gets her to reveal something about herself that you can interpret as a DHV. If she does not want to answer the question you are still in A2. Continue with a DHV routine and try again later.

    If she answers then you are in A3 and can reward her with an IOI. Reel her in by giving her a legitimate and nonphysical IOI for something she said. Preferably, you want to express your genuine interest for something she said that you like, that is interesting to you or that you have a commonality for.

    Giving the girl an IOI may make her feel uncomfortable. It is flattering because she likes you already, but you do not want that IOI to make her feel discomfort. Therefore, be prepared to release the IOI if necessary. For example, by saying something like "I can't believe you said that", "You're trouble for me" or "That's it, I can't even talk to you anymore". Whereas the IOI pulls her towards you, the release pushes her away. It is this emotional push and pull action that amplifies her attraction and keeps things interesting.

    Here is an example A3 routine:

    Bait – "What nationality are you?"
    Hook – <Swedish>
    Reel – "Really? I love Sweden. I took a trip there a few years ago and it was amazing".
    Release – "Unfortunately, while I was there I also learned a dark secret about Swedish women. And that's why we cannot hang out anymore." Then playfully turn your back towards her and wait for her to come to you.

    Repeat these steps a few times over the next 5-10 minutes. Make sure not to make it seem like you are interrogating her. Keep it casual. As you are getting her to qualify herself to you, you also want to allow her to talk and to ask questions about you in return. Mix in a few personality conveying routines as well.

    If the girl fails to meet one of your high standards you should let her know that. For example, by saying, "You know, I was kind of into you until you said that." It is unlikely that she will disqualify herself so badly that you will actually want to eject, but that is always an option.

    Once she has qualified herself to you, you can then transition into the first Comfort phase by telling her that she has met your high standards. For example, "You know what, your first impression kind of sucked. But now that I've talked to you for a bit, you seem pretty fun."


    To find good qualification questions you can make a list of 10 or so non-physical traits that you want your girl to possess. For example, you may want a girl who is optimistic, spontaneous, adventurous and a free spirit. From these traits you can create interesting questions for baiting the girl to qualify herself to you. Here are a few example baits:

    What have you got going for you besides your looks?
    What's your redeeming factor? Why do such cool guys hang out with you?
    What do you do for a living?
    What are the three best qualities you have to offer a man?
    What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?
    Are you romantic/spontaneous?
    What is your philosophy of life?
    Do you work out?
    Tell me something about yourself that would make me want to get to know you better.
    What do you want to be when you grow up?
    What kind of music do you like?

    Qualification continues in C1 and C2, so you do not ask all of your qualification questions in A3. This is just a qualification preview to let her know that you have high standards and that you are attracted to her for reasons that go beyond her looks.

    Attraction Locations

    You can meet women everywhere. Although this is the case, to meet the largest amount of women you should try to meet them while doing what you do in your regular life. That way you can flirt with girls doing the same thing that you are doing. For example, if you are out jogging you can take a more social route. Or if you go to a coffee shop you can go to one that is busier. When you are out having a good time, doing something you enjoy, you will be full of conversation that can be interesting to women. Furthermore, there is no competition or distraction from other guys.

    Day game

    The day game is when you actively go out to meet girls in a public setting during the day. While you can meet girls anywhere, certain places are better than others. Invest some time to find these places in your area, places where there are lots of the kind of girls you want to meet and where you are likely to be successful approaching them. For plenty of options and low competition, find attraction locations that have a higher percentage of women than other places. Here is a list of some attraction locations to try out.

    Coffee shops.
    Trendy areas and fashion malls.
    Bookstores and libraries near colleges.
    Lunch spots near office complexes.
    College campuses at lunch time.
    Health clubs, day spas and yoga classes.
    Massage, hair & nail and beauty parlors.

    These are cold social situations since people do not expect to talk to strangers here. You can also go for warm social situations where there is an expectation to be social. It is typically easier to approach girls in these venues, and you will also have a commonality that you can use when talking to them.

    Parties and other private events.
    Public gatherings and social events.
    Art exhibitions and art shows.
    Wine tasting and speed dating events.

    Night game

    The night game refers to bars and clubs. This game is played with the same routines, but with a higher pace and energy level. Compared with the day game, there are more distractions and competition from other guys. However, in no other places will you find as high a concentration of single girls who are out to have a good time.

    If you want to get good fast then bars and clubs are great places to practice. As you train in these tough social situations it will quickly improve your skill level. The bar and club environment is a kind of simulation, because the vast number of girls means that you do not need to mind if the one you approach is not interested. Just like when playing a video game you can just press the reset button and go again.


    Once the Attraction stage is finished you transition into Comfort. The object in Comfort is to build a connection with the girl, both a physical and an emotional one. The emotional connection is made by getting to know each other, and by finding commonalities, but most of all by having fun together. The physical connection is built through kino escalation, where you physically advance your relationship. Additionally, you take the girl through a trust building ladder to get her to trust that you will not make her uncomfortable.

    Emotional connection – Get to know each other and find commonalities.
    Physical connection – Make her comfortable with your touch and proximity.
    Trust – Lead her through enjoyable experiences.
    Fun – Have fun with her, through conversation, activities and routines.


    Most of the courtship time is spent in Comfort. Whereas the Attraction stage last roughly half an hour, the Comfort stage typically take between three to ten hours and may require separate meetings. This is the window of opportunity within which it is most easy to enter into a sexual relationship with a girl. If you transition too quickly into Seduction you may get the girl for the night, but it will be difficult to take the relationship further. On the other hand, with too much time spent in Comfort, or too little kino escalation, you risk becoming her friend instead of her lover.

    Game changer

    In Comfort, the game changes a bit. The high-energy flair in Attraction can be toned down and you do not have to be funny or entertaining all the time. You can spend more time listening, having her talk and just being yourself. Furthermore, you can now be more open in showing the girl that you are attracted to her.

    Comfort phases

    In all three Comfort phases you will be using basically the same Comfort material. The phases are distinguished mainly by physical location.

    C1 Connection – Takes place in the original, attraction location.
    C2 Trust – Takes place in one or more other venues.
    C3 Intimacy – Takes place in a seduction location.

    As the names suggest, the focus of the Comfort phases is also slightly different. C1 is where you start building the emotional connection, which continues into C2. Next, C2 is where you take the girl through a trust building cycle, by leading her through a number of enjoyable experiences. Finally, C3 is where you make the girl comfortable with the seduction. The physical connection is started as far back as A2 and progressively escalates until the end of C3 where it transitions into Foreplay.

    Kino Escalation

    There are a fixed number of physical steps from meeting a girl to sleeping with her. You need to know what these steps are and how to move smoothly from one to the next. This is the process of kino escalation, where kino means touch. Kino escalation is done in steps, slowly over time, with the goal of making the girl progressively more comfortable with your touch and proximity.

    As the man, it is your job to initiate and escalate the physical contact. You cannot rely on the girl to take these steps. Most girls do not dare. Furthermore, if you do not escalate the girl may place you in the friend zone and assume you are only interested in friendship. Trying to suddenly go for a kiss will then seem inappropriate. You instead want the kiss to be a natural part of the escalation.

    Traditionally, men are expected to take the risks and lead the way through the entire series of physical steps towards sex. This gives the girl the power to reject him at any step on the way. Although you must be the one who takes the steps, you do not have to take the risks. If you understand how to move smoothly from one step to the next you can avoid these issues altogether.

    Time frame

    Kino escalation starts in the Attraction phases and continues all the way to Sex. Try to get physical right from the beginning, as soon as you know there is attraction, and then continue escalating slowly over a number of hours. The escalation is based on her comfort level, not on any time limit. Your comfort level as the man is not really an issue. It is the girl's comfort level that dictates the pace of the game.

    You need to limit your kino escalation according to the location you are in. Otherwise you may embarrass the girl and lower her social value, which will only reduce her comfort instead of increasing it. If she is with her friends or in a public venue only light kino may be appropriate. To go further, into mid and heavy kino, you should first isolate the girl or move her to a more private venue.

    For most kino escalation steps you should be sitting down next to her, on a couch or similar area. This opens up the most options. The best time to go for an escalation is when she is at an emotional highpoint, or you can create the mood you want as part of the kino routine.

    Be aware that a girl who likes you will often touch you a lot to help build the physical connection. The girl may also skip ahead to a later kino escalation step than the one you were on, in which case you can also skip ahead to that step by reciprocating her touch. Whenever the girl escalates, you can consider all lower levels of kino to be unlocked. Furthermore, the girl may also drop hints that she wants you to escalate, such as looking at your lips to indicate that she wants to be kissed. Make sure that you are open for anything and take it as far as it will go that night.

    Kino steps

    There are a certain number of kino escalation steps in the game plan. There are only so many things you can do to advance your relationship physically. It is important to memorize these steps. You do not need to do all of them, but there is a particular order to them. In essence, you start with neutral, playful touch and step by step increase the intimacy of your touch without making her too uncomfortable.

    Light kino

    Start first with light kino to break the initial physical barrier. This is short, almost incidental kino that you can use in a public setting. You focus on the most public parts of her body: hands, arms and shoulders. Your touch should be friendly and playful, the same way that you would touch your buddies. It makes her feel more comfortable and shows her that you are physically compatible. Keep it light and do not linger. As long as you keep things playful she will not resist the touch, as opposed to you trying to take something from her. Here are a few examples:

    1. Greeting – When you are introduced to a girl that is a good opportunity to start breaking down the physical barrier. Rather than going for a regular handshake, introduce yourself in a way that immediately sets you apart and makes her remember you. For example, by giving her the rock or some other special greeting that you have made up.
    2. Accidental arm touch – While talking to her you can lightly brush against her arm.
    3. Emphasis – You can touch her arm with the back of your hand to emphasize a point in the conversation.
    4. Shoulder touch – Briefly touch her shoulder while speaking, as if pulling her in to hear you better.
    5. Poking – Lightly tap her arm or shoulder to reclaim her attention if it temporarily wanders.
    6. Patting – When the girl says something even remotely uncool, you can pat her on the shoulder and shake your head.
    7. Palm reading – Put out your hand with the palm up and tell the girl to give you her hand. When she gives it, study her palm intently and gently trace the lines in her palm with your finger. Then, give her a look as if you now have her figured out and let go of her hand. When she asks what you saw, make something up that leads the interaction forward.
    8. Short handholding – Another cold reading routine you can use when you have her hand is to place two fingers on her wrist, as if checking her pulse. Then say, "Just as I thought, you're attracted to me. The heart never lies." as you give her hand back.
    9. Thumb-wrestling – This is a great game to use when challenging the girl to do something. You always want to win.
    10. High five – Can be used for instance to highlight a commonality you share.

    Mid kino

    After she is comfortable with light kino you progress to mid kino. This kino is still playful, but a bit more intimate and overt. You can now go for slightly more private body parts such as her back, waist and legs. At this level longer touches can also be introduced. However, before you do it is a good idea to perform a short or incidental kino escalation move around that area first, to test her comfort level before you go for a longer touch. For instance, you can let your leg brush against hers, or gently tap her thigh while making a point, to see if she would be comfortable with longer kino on her legs. Here are some more mid kino escalation examples:

    1. Tickling – Start tickling her and get into a tickle fight. Any physical play like this is great for building comfort.
    2. Arm-in-arming – As you are walking you can lock arm in arm with her to escort her.
    3. Hugging – Can be used for instance to reward her when she has done something good.
    4. Hand on her leg – Put your hand on her knee. Then, when she expects that is all you will do you squeeze her knee, going from sensual to playful in an instant.
    5. Hand on your leg – Take her hand and place it on your leg.
    6. Dancing – If you have a dance floor you can take advantage of that to get some serious kino going. Ask her, "You know how to dance?" When she says <Yes!> say "Let's go" as you take her hand and lead her to the dance floor.
    7. Hand play – Let your fingers play with her hand. Keep in mind that as with most kino escalation this is just subtext. Your conversation should not reflect what you are doing.
    8. Soft touch – Run your fingertips slowly over the backside of her hand, her inner arm or neck. This touch can feel really good.
    9. Caressing back – Put your hand on her back and start caressing her. Then, when she expects you to be sensual you go back to being playful by tickling her or snapping her bra.
    10. Stomach touch – While you talk about fitness you can give her a compliment on her flat stomach as you slide your hand over it. When you do this you can get a sense for whether she would be comfortable with a longer touch around that area, such as having your hand around her waist.

    Heavy kino

    When she is comfortable with mid kino you can move on to heavy kino. This includes more intimate areas – such as her neck and facial area: ears, lips and hair. Note that this is still comfort building. Heavy kino does not include erogenous zones such as her breasts, crotch or inner thighs. Those areas are not paid any direct attention until Foreplay, where the intent is sexual arousal. Making out can arouse you, so make sure not to cross the line until you are at a seduction location. As with mid kino, you can go for incidental touches first before you go for more overt ones.

    1. Hair play – Run your hand through her hair or twirl it around while looking into her eyes. To see if she would be comfortable with you touching her hair, you can lead up to it by for instance brushing a stray hair out of her face.
    2. Hair pull – Reach behind her neck and gently pull a fistful of her hair downwards. It feels really good.
    3. Smelling – In the middle of a conversation you can reach over and smell her neck. Say "Mmm, you smell so… good" and then continue on with the conversation.
    4. Biting – Pull her close and say "I want to bite you". Then give her a little bite on the neck.
    5. Sit on lap – Take her hand and move it above her head so that she spins around. Then, when her back is towards you, sit her down on your lap and hug her from behind.
    6. Arm around shoulder – Slide your hand along her shoulder and let it rest there in a 90-degree angle. It is protective and shows a strong masculine presence.
    7. Massage – Tell her you give a mean shoulder massage and let her have one.
    8. Kissing with release – There are many good techniques for kissing a girl. One would be to put on some flavored chapstick and say, "You know what the best part about chapstick is? Here, smell it". Let her smell it and then continue, "It not only smells like strawberries, it actually tastes like strawberries too. Check it out". And then you go in and kiss her.
    9. French kissing – This is the borderline between heavy kino and foreplay kino. It is a good idea to kiss the girl normally before you start making out with her.

    Kino routines

    Every single kino is a routine. This means that you create a scenario for each kino step where it happens naturally and smoothly. Being smooth is about being able to escalate without the girl resisting it. There are only so many ways to escalate and so many possible responses she can give, so you should prepare for these. Develop your own 10–15 or so routines for escalating and have them planned out in your mind. Once you know the process and can see it clearly, there is almost a 100% chance of success when going from one step to the next and she will enjoy it so much more. Here is a sample routine:

    "You know, I can't hang out with girls who don't give good hugs. Do you give good hugs?" <Yeah> "Prove it." She gives you a hug and you say, "That was about a six". Then show her how it is done by giving her a really good hug, heart to heart.

    Notice that the routine starts with a challenge, baiting her to give you the kino. If she takes the bait and goes for the kino you playfully disqualify her and then go for the escalation without any risk of rejection. Two more ways to make the kino escalation natural are through the game frame and the teaching-her-something frame.

    The example also involves reverse kino escalation, where you have the girl escalate for you. In general, the girl will be more comfortable touching you than with you touching her. Furthermore, when she touches you her kino comfort level rises and she will be more comfortable receiving the same kino from you. Here is another routine:

    "Are you good at whispering in people's ears?" <What?> "Okay, I'll go first. Lean over slowly and slide your hand behind her neck. Gently grab the back of her hair, put your lips right at her ear and whisper, "Never mind" before leaning back.

    In addition to making her more comfortable with your proximity, this routine communicates that you know how to touch a woman and that you understand anticipation and sexual teasing.

    Kino routine steps

    There are three steps in a kino escalation routine.

    1. Perform the kino step.
    2. Sense how comfortable she is with it.
    3. Release the kino.

    The first time you perform a kino escalation move on a girl you should soon release it. The withdrawal is what amplifies the attraction and makes her want the kino more. It is both a push forward and a pull back, the emotional roller coaster ride that women love. After she has accepted an escalation step she will be open to receiving the kino for longer periods of time.

    When people are attracted to each other they want to touch each other. We like to be touched by people we like. However, the girl will tend to feel some discomfort from the escalation, as you are pushing her boundaries. Therefore, every time you make an escalation move on a girl, you need to calibrate to see whether she is comfortable with the move or not.

    If she feels uncomfortable with the kino escalation you should release it before she has time to resist. Step back so that there is nothing to resist from. Do not take it personally. She is not saying "No", she is saying, "Not yet, have more fun with me." To get to the next level you first need to make her comfortable with this level. To bring this about you can demonstrate disinterest as a result of her resistance. You can, for example, throw the kino away, express disinterest with words, verbally disengage or give her negative body language for a moment. The sense of loss from your release will make her feel more discomfort, as if she did something wrong to turn you off, and she will feel compelled to come chase you. Wait for her to bring something back to the interaction. If she does not, reinitiate the interaction by either going for the escalation again or moving on to the next routine. Her discomfort during this freeze out will be greater than her unease at the original touch and so she will be more welcoming of the second attempt.

    When the girl accepts a kino move, or even shows that she enjoys it, that kino level is unlocked. Even though she is comfortable with the kino you should still release it, so as to make her want more of it and not to make it appear as if the chase is over. This keeps things fun, interesting and unpredictable for her. For example, when you find something she really likes, you can stop doing it. Make her really want it before you tease her with a little bit more of it. You can keep bringing such kino steps back as a spice several times in Comfort, when she is least expecting it. By teasing her – doing a little bit and then stopping – you build anticipation, which is something that all women love.

    The second time you or she initiates a kino step you can let it continue longer. The idea is after all that you want the kino. You should still be the one who ends it though. For example, you can tell the girl, "We better slow down" or "That's all you get, don't get any ideas" as you do the release. You need to watch her reactions to know when to throw off the kino. When she is comfortable with one level of kino, you can perform a few other routines for a while and then move on to the next level of kino.

    Escalation guidelines

    A key thing about kino escalation is that if it is a big deal to you then it becomes a big deal for her. Therefore, when you escalate do not make a big deal about it, because it is not. If you think it is natural then it is and she will perceive it so too. Be congruent so it does not seem awkward or contrived. Show a strong intent and be sure to expect a positive outcome. A lot of times the best way to move things forward is just to give commands: "Come here", "Give me your hand", "Sit down", "Let's go". Girls are attracted to a guy that takes the initiative and leads the situation. If you feel hesitant whether to go for it or not, just remember that it is always on and go for it. Make it happen.

    C1 – Connection

    After A3 the Comfort phases begin, the first of which is C1 Connection. The objective in this Comfort phase is to build an emotional connection with the girl. That is, you get to know her and allow her to get to know you in a way that gives her the sense that you have connected on a meaningful level. She needs to feel that you are someone who sees her for who she really is, and appreciates her for it.


    Before proceeding, let's make a distinction between three locations:

    Attraction location – A public place where you find the girl.
    Comfort location – An isolated place with a sit down location, such as a couch.
    Seduction location – A private place with a lay down location, such as your home.

    Ideally, you should build comfort at a comfort location, which is close to a seduction location. Your location will limit what kino steps you can perform so be sure to calibrate. You want to take things as far as you can in the location that you are in, but not further.


    We left off in A3 with the girl isolated and qualifying herself to you. As she is now attracted to you, and knows that you enjoy her company as well, she is going to want to build comfort with you. At this point you should lead her to a comfort location, where the two of you can sit down in isolation.

    If the girl wants to rejoin her friends then do that instead. It means that she is not yet comfortable enough to be alone with you for a longer time. To make the girl more comfortable with building comfort with you in the presence of her friends you can do a mini-isolation, where you position yourself so that the girl has to turn her back to the group. Be sure to do this during a conversation thread to make sure she follows. This mini-isolation will make her less susceptible to distractions from her friends. It works much like a full isolation and can be used as an alternative in A3 as well. Once you have built enough comfort for her to accept a change of venue, lead her to a comfort location.

    Comfort location

    The comfort location you bring the girl to should preferably be an empty couch without too much background noise. Generally, the louder the venue the more unsuitable it is for comfort building. However, you want there to be music playing or people talking since silence can be very uncomfortable as well.

    Be the first one to sit down. That way you allow her to choose where it is most comfortable for her to sit. This gives you an idea of her current comfort level. Close the distance gradually within the next few minutes, so that you will be close enough to perform kino escalation. If the venue is loud you can move closer under the pretext of hearing each other better. Another way would be to go for a routine that legitimately requires you to be close, such as a palmistry reading. Having closed the initial distance, continue your campaign of comfort building through interesting topics and comfort routines.


    The thing that brings people closer together is emotions. For this reason, the primary goal in Comfort is to have a great time together. Keep things fun and playful for both of you, not boring or serious. Rather than talking to the girl on a logical level, communicate on an emotional level. By bringing emotions into the interaction you disengage her logical mind and get her more and more emotional. This will help you to build an emotional connection with her and it will also make her more receptive to your advances in building the physical connection.

    Consider the following scenario. The girl asks, "Are you married?" Most guys will answer logically, "No, I’m single". An emotion stirring answer could be, "Do you want me to be single?", which goes beyond her words and to the meaning behind them. This is good, but there is a level beyond this. You can greatly accelerate the comfort building process by taking her on an emotional roller coaster. Rather than going for positive feelings all the time, you can introduce emotional shifts in the other direction, which causes her to experience the positive emotions more strongly.

    An emotional rollercoaster answer would be like this: "Yeah, I am." The girl is disappointed. "My wife’s at home right now with the kids." She gets even more disappointed. "And my girlfriend just called." She gets judgmental about you for having a wife and a girlfriend and for flirting with her. *Shaking your head* "You are so gullible! I'm single, you dork." She was misled and now you are giving her a hard time for it.

    Emotional connection

    In Comfort, you need to have your basic getting-to-know-you conversation. This is where you talk about who you are, what you like in life and what you have in common, in order to build an emotional connection. This can take anywhere from ten minutes to several hours. You should strive to avoid any kind of interview questions – where you ask questions with simple, literal answers that she has probably answered a thousand times before. It is boring and logical, whereas you want a connection that is emotional and fun. Here is a list of the more common interview questions to avoid:

    What do you do?
    Where are you from?
    Where do you live?
    How old are you?
    Where did you go to school?
    What about your past relationships?
    What about your family?

    These same interview routines will be used by the girl when she tries to deepen your connection. As such, you should have answers ready for these when they come. Even though the questions are boring your answers can be interesting and you can turn it back into an emotional conversation. To do this, do not answer her questions directly, at least not all the time. It is more interesting if you give her an answer she does not expect, such as a personal story that in the end answers her question. It shows that you have some depth and makes you harder to figure out, which is fun for her.

    Another way to respond is to give her a funny answer first and then the real answer. A third way would be to give her a challenge before you answer the question, such as making her guess what the answer might be. Either way you should answer in a way that elicits emotions. Keep in mind that getting to know each other is not about obtaining a list of answers to a set of questions. It is about feeling like you know each other and you cannot get there without emotions.

    Avoiding the interview

    When getting to know the girl there are three good ways to avoid the interview. The first is to turn the question into a statement. Instead of asking her, you guess what the answer might be. For example, "I bet you study art." <No, I do bio. Why'd you think art?> And then you have launched the conversation in a compelling direction.

    The second way is to ask more playful variants of the interview questions. For example, instead of asking "What do you do for a living?" you might ask, "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

    The third way to avoid the interview is to ask deeper versions of the standard questions. For example, "What's your favorite part of your job?" The focus here is not on what she does for a living, but rather getting her to feel the positive emotions she associates with her job. The more specific and unique your questions are, the better her responses will tend to be.


    One way to launch into a conversation thread is to ask a question. This question may be grounded through a story first, to make it more relevant. Good questions are ones that elicit emotions and fascinate the girl enough to want to stick with that thread. Here is a list of some example questions:

    If you could wake up tomorrow anywhere in the world, where would it be?
    Have you ever been in love?
    When was the first time you got drunk?
    If you were to compare yourself to an animal, which would it be?
    If you became a guy for one day, how would you spend it?
    What kind of girls do you like?
    Why did you go out tonight?
    Have you ever stolen anything?
    If you won a million dollars in the lottery, how would you spend it?
    What's your biggest fear?
    Do you have any tattoos?
    If you could have any job in the world what would you be doing right now?
    Would you rather ride on a train, dance in the rain or feel no pain?
    Which super power would you rather have, flight or invisibility?

    When you ask a question, listen carefully to her answer. From there you can, for example, comment on her answer and then either ask an insightful follow-up question or relate to it through a story. The relating part is important as it allows you to build commonalities.


    Part of building an emotional connection is finding commonalities, which allow you to connect on different levels. These commonalities can take various forms, such as sharing similar passions, backgrounds, hobbies, world views, values, beliefs and attitudes. The rarer the trait that you connect on, and the more important it is to her, the stronger your connection will be. Whenever you find a commonality, especially one she is passionate about, you should emphasize it. Do not just state the fact, but share what you like about that trait or something interesting you know about it, for example, through a story.

    You want to have a broad set of things in common, but also things you do not have in common. You need that mix. It creates a more interesting dynamic in the interaction, and it shows that you are being honest. When you disagree on something, be sure to disagree without being disagreeable. You do not want to get caught up trying to win an argument with the girl, as that will make you lose comfort rapidly. Just respect her view and move on. If it is something important you disagree on you can bring it up again when she is your girlfriend.

    Your story

    To have a relationship with a woman you need an identity that she wants to be a part of. As such, you should have a number of stories that together tell your life story, leading up to where you are today and where you are going. You can run these routines in C1 or C2. By the time you are done with them she will feel like she really knows you and as a result you will have a potential relationship. For this reason you should be careful not to tell her your story unless you really like her.

    C2 – Trust

    An important part in Comfort is trust building, which is the focus of the second Comfort phase. The girl needs to be able to trust that you are not going to make her feel uncomfortable. She needs to feel that she is safe with you and that you are not someone who is going to take advantage of her as soon as you are alone.

    Trust is needed to get the girl to comply with your requests. The way to build trust is to start with small requests and then move on to progressively larger requests. As the girl complies with a request, and it turns out alright and fun, her level of trust in you increases.

    Trust building ladder

    The trust building ladder starts in A3 when you temporarily isolate the girl. As that turns out well, trust is built for isolating the girl for a longer time in C1. The next level is gained when you move the girl within the venue, which builds trust for leaving the venue together in C2. The last level of trust is established when the girl follows you to the seduction location for C3. Each level builds upon the previous one. For example, if the girl is not comfortable being alone with you she will be far less comfortable going home with you.

    More important than the actual steps in the trust building ladder is how you handle her resistance. She needs to feel that you will not push her to do things she does not want to do – whether through kino escalation, jumps or other activities. If you push her in any way it will shatter the trust you have very quickly. If a girl resists a request, like a venue change, you should not push the issue and try to change her mind. Focus on changing her mood instead. As soon as the girl says, "I don't want to", move away from that conversation thread. Just move on to something else – another story, topic or game – and then go for the venue change again later. She will be more likely to go for it then.

    When handling her resistance you should have an attitude of indifference. This means that you do not make a big deal out of things and do not appear emotionally invested in any particular outcome. It is a powerful frame to have. Will she stay with you? Will she sleep with you? You could not care less. You are just there in the moment having fun with her. As such, you will not react emotionally when she rejects your requests or advances.

    Trust can also be built by demonstrating that you trust her. For example, as you head to the bathroom you can drop off an accessory, such as a hat, and say, "Guard my hat. Beat up anyone who tries to steal it!" You can also share a perceived personal secret or vulnerability with her, conveying that you trust her not to share it with others.


    When you are both comfortably settled at one place it is time to introduce a jump so that things do not get stale. In the game plan, there are three ways of jumping from one location to the next.

    1. Venue move – You move within the current venue.
    2. Venue change – You move to a different venue for an instant date.
    3. Time bridge – You plan a meeting.

    You need to calibrate the move to the girl's trust level. Begin by moving her within the current venue, as that requires the least amount of trust. Once you are able to do that with ease, you can move her to one or more nearby venues for more comfort building. As you leave the meeting venue together with the girl the second Comfort phase begins - C2 Trust. It is named so because this mini-dating greatly speeds up the trust building process. It can also be a lot of fun.

    Venue move

    Here are a few example moves for the club scene:

    Friends – Take her to meet your friends. "You know what, I'm here with some very cool friends, and I'm going to introduce you to them."
    Socializing – Take her to meet new people in the club.
    Dance – Take her to the dance floor. Do not get caught in a dance marathon. Just spin her around for a while and take the opportunity to do plenty of kino.
    Scenery change – Take her to see different parts of the venue.
    Drink – Take her to go get a drink at the bar. Water is good. You should not pay for her drink.

    The best time to go for a venue move is during an emotional highpoint. For example, while she is laughing say, "Come on, let's go". Because she is filled with positive emotions she is going to go for it. Be sure to project clearly that you are leading. Give her visual signals to go along with you or even take her hand and physically lead her.

    Venue change

    A venue change is an instant date that you take the girl on, along with her group if necessary. This change of scenery is a powerful trust building technique. You may have met at the current venue as strangers, but once you leave you are suddenly together. It sets up a psychological frame of her being there with you.

    Every time she compromises her safety by going to a new place with you, and it turns out alright, you are building trust. The more venues you visit the more memories she has with you. By doing this multiple times you establish a trust building cycle. She gets memories of being in different situations with you feeling comfortable, which establishes a level of trust that may take a month of dating to establish otherwise. That is the beauty of the instant date. It is an easy way to develop comfort and trust. It also sets up a pattern of you leading her from one interesting, enjoyable experience to another. It creates a kind of adventure scenario. As you walk from one place to the next that is a great opportunity to hold her hand or walk arm-in-arm.

    Venue change example

    Before you go out it is a good idea to have a firm grasp of all the cool places in your area. The bars, clubs, coffee shops, pool halls, arcades and so on. These are places to which you can venue change, in addition to your own place. To suggest the venue change be simple and direct, implying that you are in control and not easily distractible. Here are some short examples of how to initiate a venue change:

    Club – "You know, I want to switch up the scene a little bit. Let's go."
    Coffee shop – "I'd love to hear more of this, but I need to get some coffee at Starbucks. Let's continue the conversation there."
    Restaurant – "I'm going to grab a bite to eat. You're welcome to tag along. We'll be back in 10 minutes." You do not have to come back.
    After party – "Dude, we're bouncing. Come with? The party's moving!"
    Your place – "I know a much better place than this. Drinks are cheaper and it's a lot more comfortable. Come on." And lead her right back to your place.

    If the girl has friends in the current venue or seems hard to move, you need to overhype the new venue. Build emotions into it and make it sound like the coolest thing you could ever do, no matter how ridiculous it is. You also need to give her the logical reasons for going, in order to take the burden of accountability off her shoulders. She can then explain this to her friends so that she is free to go and have fun.

    Time bridge

    When you get interrupted in Comfort or run out of time, you have to bridge the time so you can get back to seeing the girl and continue another time. This is called a time bridge. When you are with her you establish the other side of the time bridge by making plans. It is not just exchanging phone numbers or e-mails. You should make actual plans to see each other again, as that is the goal. If you only get her phone number without setting a date then it is not likely to lead anywhere. You should have the second meeting planned out before you leave her so that you do not have to try and convince her over the phone.

    Time bridge example

    You need to have a stock time bridge ready that involves an exciting activity. Avoid typical dating activities such as a dinner or movie that make her the event. In fact, avoid using the word "date" as that implies that she is the prize. Preferably, you want an activity that you are going to be doing anyway where she can tag along. By not making her the event, she will be more likely to come along. It does not have to be an extraordinary event. Just going shopping can be made into an adventure if you frame it that way.

    The pattern to use when inviting a girl is to mention something really cool that you are going to do. You are telling her about your interesting life and giving her an opportunity to be part of it. Preferably, you want her to invite herself. If she does not bite at this, you can be more direct and tell her to come along. Either way you should communicate that it would be fun if she joined you, but that you do not need her there for you to be happy. You are living your life fully, doing the things you like and pushing forward. You come from a place of abundance and you are going to have fun whether she is there or not. It is a powerful frame to have.

    Getting her contact info

    After you have established the time bridge you have a legitimate reason to get her number. The key to getting the number is to confidently tell her to give it. You say "What's your number?" or "Give me your number". You do not ask for her number, as this would make her less likely to give it. For extra charm points give her a pad of paper and a pen with which to write her number down. As an artistic challenge, you can tell her to also draw a picture of herself and sign it.


    Girls are emotional beings and may flake on dates, even with men they genuinely like. To further commit her to the event you can lend her one of your accessories – such as a cheap necklace. Explain to her that it means a lot to you and that you want her to give it back to you when you next meet. For example, take off the necklace and say, "I want you to hold on to this. It's very important to me. You have to promise to give it back to me the next time we meet. Okay?" This will increase the likelihood of seeing her again. Another strategy for reducing flakiness would be to make sure to leave her on an up note.


    The primary alternative to the time bridge is the extraction – taking her home with you that night. There is no reason to draw it out if that is your objective. She wants to go home with you that night. She just needs you to help her figure that out and not feel bad about it. Before you are at that level you can set up a time bridge instead.

    C3 - Intimacy

    Once the girl is comfortable, not only being alone with you but also with kissing you, it is time to transition into C3 Intimacy. For this you need to move the girl to a seduction location. Typical seduction locations include your place, her place or a hotel. Your place is preferable, as it is the only place where you control all the variables.

    Purposely slow things down if you do not have a seduction location nearby. Arousing the girl before the seduction location can make it hard to bring her over there, as she knows it is for sex. Furthermore, if you have sex with her outside of the seduction location it builds buyer's remorse - the feeling of regret felt after hooking up with someone prematurely. Buyer's remorse generates a sense of embarrassment for women that men do not feel. It can make it difficult to hook up with her again, as she will feel that you just want her for sex. For these reasons it is a good idea to hold back until the seduction location.

    C3 bait

    When you venue change to a seduction location you will need to use a bait. You cannot ask her, "You want to go back to my place so we can finish this off?" because she will say no. Instead you say, "You know what, I know a place where the drinks are cheap, let's go." Then take her by the hand and lead her back to your place. This way you take the responsibility of sex happening off her shoulders. Depending on the situation, your invite could be, for example, a drink, a cup of coffee or to watch a movie.

    Romantic fantasy

    Women long for the elements of romance, passion and seduction in their lives. Instead of giving her an ordinary experience when she comes over, give her something special that shows her you have class. Just by adding a few classy touches you can deliver the romantic fantasy for her – a woman's romantic idea of a night with a guy who is completely unlike anyone she has ever met.

    Your place

    You have now moved the girl to a seduction location for the final stage of Comfort building. This may be the same night you met her or after a time bridged meeting. Rather than going straight for the seduction, you should continue running Comfort material here until she is comfortable in the new environment.

    Lead her to a room with a couch where you can build comfort. She will want to see how you live and may also want to use the bathroom, so give her some time alone while you go and prepare some drinks. The drink is not to get her drunk, but to help her relax and have fun. Go for something classy, like wine or champagne, rather than a six-pack of beer. It is part of the romantic fantasy.

    When you come back put on some soft background music, maybe classical or opera. It helps put her in the right frame of mind. While you were gone she will probably have noticed a few of the props you have set up to get the conversation going and may comment on it. Otherwise, you bring something up. Sit down on the couch and get a playful interaction going, along with kino. She will probably want to chat, because that helps her rationalize the next step.

    Heavy kino escalation

    In the private comforts of the seduction location you are able to go for more daring kino routines. The physical steps you can take are still the same as those described in the Kino Escalation chapter – kissing, biting, tickling, caressing and so on. But they can now last longer and be more overt, leading up to foreplay.

    Here is a sample C3 kino routine. Draw a line across the couch and say, "That's your side and this is my side", giving her the smaller piece. Next you start to take cushions from her side, while telling her to stay on her side. Then take a blanket and wrap it around you, "Oh, it's so warm and cozy over here". Finally, when she is really miserable, say, "Okay, stop whining" and pull her over to your side to cuddle.

    Another C3 routine would be to tell her to close her eyes as you give her a shoulder massage. For extra charm points you can whisper something romantic in her ear while you are at it.

    In the couch scenario you can also tease her with a pull away kiss. Sitting next to her, grab the back of her hair and gently pull it downwards, as you would do to paralyze a kitten. Then look into her eyes as you slowly go in for the kiss, but just before your lips touch hers you introduce a pause and enjoy the distance for a while, building anticipation for what is to come. Next, instead of going for the kiss you roll off towards her ear and whisper "I want to bite you". Finally, give her a sensual bite on the neck, before leaning back with a smile.

    Notice that the pattern for sexual teasing is similar to the kino escalation routines, where you give the girl a bit of something pleasurable, and then take it away or do something unexpected in order to make her want it more. The pattern is best described as taking two steps forward and then one step back.

    Dating Places and Ideas

    Once you have comfort with a girl you can start inviting her out to have fun. There are many ways to structure an interesting dating life that leaves you in control and deepens your relationship.

    Inviting her out

    When you call a girl to invite her out you can be direct and to the point. Greet her, small talk a bit and then invite her along to whatever you are going to do. Do not plan the event far in advance, it is too predictable. A day at most. Or you can just ask her, "What are you doing right now?" and invite her right on the spot. The spontaneity of that is very attractive.

    If she has a legitimate reason why she cannot come with you, take her word for it. What you can do then is to give her an open invitation to hang out with you and do another activity by asking, "I want to see you this week. What day is good for you?". Do not allow her to play any games at this stage. If she does not bring up a counter offer to the first event, or suggest a date for the second event, you can assume she is not interested. Just tell her to call you and let her go.

    When setting up a meeting with a girl you should avoid the traditional dating frame. A date involves expectations that you will pay for things and keep her entertained. It sets up the frame incorrectly, of you courting her. Get rid of the whole dating mentality. You do not want the date to revolve around her. What you should seek to do instead is to bring her into your world, your reality.

    Your reality

    You want to draw the girl into your world. This is key. It is not just about taking her on a fun activity. It is about having a life and bringing her into it, a life that you enjoy so much that you want to share it with others. You are helping her see the world, opening her up and leading her into new experiences. She will want to spend time with you because you make her life better.

    First date

    For the first date ideally the girl will come to your place to start out, instead of meeting her somewhere else. As long as you have built enough comfort with the girl at your first meeting this should not be a problem. When you set up the time bridge just say, "Let's meet at my place and we'll go from there” and tell her the address. When she shows up at your house greet her with a hug and let her in for a minute. After she has seen a glimpse of your place you can then leave. This establishes a trust level that you are not a needy guy who just wants to take advantage of the fact that she is at your house. It also builds curiosity since you have a cool place and makes it natural for her to come back there after the get together.

    When the date is over you need to have a reason to go back to your house. It is part of the date plan. Pictures, funny movies, drinks, coffee or pet rock collection. Anything that will help her justify going back there. Likewise, have a reason to go from there to your bedroom and so on. Just expect that it is going to happen and lead the girl, taking the burden of responsibility off her shoulders. You are having a great time so there is no reason to cut it short.

    Preferably, you should be the one that ends your time together. Have something to do, somewhere to go, someone to meet. By appearing busy you communicate that you have an interesting life outside of her. It makes her value the time spent with you more and by being unpredictable you keep the attraction going. You also want to end your interactions on a high note, when it seems too soon, leaving her wanting more. That way she cannot wait for the next adventure.

    When you end the first meeting you do not need to set up another time bridge for the next one. It is vital for the first meeting, but after that it will be more fun and unpredictable if you do not have your other meetings planned out far in advance. On her way out you can kiss her and say, "Call me". If she does not call you, wait three to four days until you call her back and then playfully bust her balls about not calling you. It does not really matter who calls who.

    Event guidelines

    As for the activity, it could be virtually anything. Here are a few guidelines:

    Emotional – Take her on an emotionally stirring experience. One that you can share together.
    Enjoyment – Take her somewhere you truly enjoy. You do not want to waste time trying to entertain her doing things you do not like.
    Unconventional – Go for an unconventional date where you are doing something unusual. It will expand her world and show her that you are a cool guy.
    Physical – Active dates where you do something physically often work really well. If you are an expert in the activity and she has to depend on you that is all the better.
    Small commitment – The smaller commitment the girl has to make, the more likely she is to take you up on it. Inviting the girl to a concert is too long a commitment if you have just recently met. Letting her tag along with you to the grocery store is a better alternative.
    Convenient – Make it easy for both of you to hook up in the beginning. It is good to have the event take place within walking distance of your bedroom.


    For the first meetings you should take the girl to places where the issue of money does not come up. Spending money on the girl may come across as you trying to impress her or buy her attention. It changes the context to the dating frame which does not serve your purpose. You do not want that to be what it is about.

    Event examples

    Make a list of fun activities that you can take girls on. Actually go out and find these cool places in your area and plan out stuff in advance that you can do with a girl there – places that have interesting conversation and a lot of fun built in. You can even get to know the people there beforehand to push up your status.

    Just about any event can be made into a fun adventure if you frame if that way. Here are a few examples:

    A walk in the park or along the beach.
    Challenge her at a video arcade.
    Play some pool or go bowling.
    Sing and dance at a karaoke bar.
    Do some sport, such as jogging, beach volley or roller-skating.
    Take her shopping at some trendy stores.
    Invite her out for some drinks with your friends.

    Keep things unpredictable. Do not fall into the pattern of doing the same date over and over. Mix things up. If you prefer not to go out you also have the option of just inviting her over to your place. When you have had a girl at your place once getting her back is easy. You can, for example, invite her over to watch a TV show, to have dinner or just to hang out. This kind of date suggests that just being with you is reason enough for her to come over.

    Seduction Preparation

    Your place is your primary seduction location. Contrary to her place or hotels, here you control all the variables. Keep it clean and in order.


    Set your place up so that it is full of fun things to do, like a playground. Different, unique, controversial and interesting items that give you something to talk about or play with. Here are some examples of props that you can leave lying around:

    Magazines – Studying interesting magazines with girls can be great fun.
    Tarot cards – Give her a discount tarot reading.
    Books – Massage, handwriting analysis or reflexology books.
    Coloring books – Coloring with crayons can be great fun.
    Metal puzzles – Something to play with.
    Inflatable punching bag – Let her punch it.
    Head massager – Gets girls turned on.
    Lava lamp – Fun to look at and helps set the mood.
    Dumbbells – Shows that you like to stay in shape, which is attractive.

    Stock up

    Make sure to have the following things handy:

    Fridge – Keep it stocked with beer, soft drinks, water, juice, wine and cocktail ingredients.
    Candles and incense – Light up a few of these and it completely changes the mood.
    Hygiene – Extra sheets, pillows, towels and toothbrushes.
    Music – Have a few playlists ready for various moods.
    Various – Condoms, lube, tissues and an ashtray.

    S1 – Foreplay

    After C3 the seduction phases begin, the first of which is S1 – Foreplay. The goal in foreplay is to sexually arouse the girl. This happens more slowly for women than for men. As such, take your time and turn her on for at least 15–30 minutes. Enjoy the process more than the goal. The way to turn her on is through teasing and slowly escalating kino, which basically means you can just do more of what you have already been doing through your kino escalation. The only difference is that you can now move closer to the overtly sexual parts of her body.

    A woman’s resistance to sex is often about her wanting a different pace then the man. Take things slowly and demonstrate that you understand the process of sexually arousing a woman, the steps involved, and that you have control of yourself and the situation. If you can turn her on without any overtly sexual touching it will make things easier. Once she is turned on she will feel that sex was her idea and she will initiate the sexual gestures – such as grinding, touching or sex talk – and there will be no more resistance. On the other hand, if she is not turned on progressing will only cause more resistance.

    Seduction area

    Once the girl is comfortable you can start building the seduction environment. This will set the mood and create momentum for the foreplay. When she comes into a seduction location it is natural, so you can ask her to assist you in changing the comfort area into a seduction area. After all, you want the seduction to be mutual.

    You might start with, "Can you light those candles? I'm going to turn down the lights". Follow it up with, "Why don't you go wash up, I'm going to find some incense". When she comes back from the washroom continue with "Close the blinds for me, I'm going to go wash up". Washing up is not only polite, but will also make her more comfortable with what is to come. Overall, act as if sex is normal and not special. If she is uncomfortable doing any of these routines you need to build more comfort first.


    Kissing is an important part of foreplay and is how you transition into it. It can be as easy as her laughing at something you said and you reach over and start kissing her. Instead of releasing the kiss as you have done before, you keep it going and begin escalating. Caress the back of her neck to show that you mean business. Your kino escalation now transitions into foreplay.

    A word about kissing. When you want to kiss the girl make sure that your lips are moist and not dry. This is what the chapstick is for. It may be flavored or non-flavored depending on your taste. Improving your breath, for example with breath mints, is a good idea, though it is not essential unless you have just eaten.

    If the girl keeps on talking when you want to go for the kiss, you can give her the gesture of silence by placing a finger in front of your lips, along with a sly smile. Give her a seductive gaze as you pull her in close. Maintain eye contact until her lips reach yours. Make sure to lean your head so you do not collide with her nose. Start off slow with soft, gentle kisses before you go for more intense kisses.

    With your mouth there are four techniques you can experiment with: sucking, licking, biting and massaging. For example, you can gently nibble on her lip or use your tongue to trace along it. Wait 30 seconds before you introduce the tongue. It should be soft and not stiff.


    Whereas arousal for guys goes from the crotch outwards, women are the opposite. For this reason, you should deliberately avoid, but come very close to, her erogenous zones. The more you run your hands over her body without touching these places, the more she will want you to. It builds anticipation and boosts her arousal.

    As you are kissing, you can start running your hands over her body, first above her clothes and later under them. To get beneath her clothes you can pull up her shirt a bit and go from there. Make sure that your hands are warm before you touch her bare skin.

    In the beginning, a light slow touch is what turns most women on, without it being overtly sexual. This is heavily contrasted later by pulling, grabbing, and other passionate physical displays that women really enjoy. During sexual arousal the sensitivity of the skin is heightened, and so sensations that ordinary would be painful can become intensely pleasurable. For example, pinching her bottom or giving her sensual bites.

    If her hands are not on you already, you can help her along by guiding them. She wants to touch you, but she may need your permission first. To give it you can take her hand and place it on you, for example on your leg or your back. From there she may start caressing and escalating on her own. The added bonus is that as she is touching you she will become more turned on as well. Another variant is to have her take your hand and then let her lead it over her own body, to show you what she likes.

    Trying to put your hand on her breast before she is aroused may cause her to take your hand away, because it feels uncomfortable. What you can do instead is to start at the neck and then slide your hand downwards with intent, over her breast and body. It conveys exactly what you want to convey. A similar move is to run your fingertips from her upper leg towards her crotch, and then pulling away just before you reach it. Alternatively, you can take the opportunity to test if she is comfortable being touched between the legs, by placing your hand near her crotch and just leaving it there for a while. Read how she is feeling about it. If she accepts the move you can for example undo the top button of her pants and slide your fingers down to test the waters.

    Another routine is to move her around into different positions, and grind against her, while you are still kissing her. You might push her down on the couch or move her on top of you, just like in the movies. Continue this and tease her erogenous zones until she is very aroused. She will get to the point very soon where she wants you to have sex with her. Once she starts grinding back or taking your clothes off you will have created the necessary arousal and you can then proceed with undressing her.


    If you are not at the bedroom already, now is the time to lead her over there. On the bed you can start undressing her ever-so-slowly. After each piece of clothing is removed, pause for a minute or two and build her up a bit before moving on. The key is making sure she wants the next step before you get there. This means taking your time.

    Begin with removing her socks, then her top and her bra (like a pro). The removal of the clothes should be subtext, so keep it smooth. You should be focusing on kissing her or maintaining eye contact while you are doing it. Move on to her pants next and her undies last. Give her a chance to undress you as well. If she does not go for it, you can either lead her hands into doing it or you can just do it yourself. Remove your clothing in the same order as you remove hers – socks first and then top to bottom. As you are going for her clothes you may have to deal with some last minute resistance, which is the subject of the next chapter.

    S2 – Last Minute Resistance

    When transitioning between foreplay and sex for the first time with a woman you may encounter last minute resistance (LMR). This will usually occur when you try to remove her bra, pants or panties. She may be totally into the foreplay, but as you go to escalate she will suddenly hit the brakes.

    LMR strategies

    The woman may stop you for numerous reasons. Her objection could be for example: "I hardly know you", "I'm not that type of girl" or "I bet you do this all the time". To reduce or eliminate these kinds of responses you can use LMR strategies.

    1) Seven hours

    The first strategy for overcoming LMR is the seven-hour game plan. By following the game plan and waiting at least seven hours before you seduce the girl, you remove the objections that have to do with her feeling that she does not know you well enough. With this strategy alone some girls will give you no LMR at all, as sex comes as a natural part of the kino escalation. On the other hand, if your game plan is compressed into less than seven hours you will have to deal with more LMR.

    2) Attachment

    The woman may be concerned that you will leave her after sex or not value her afterwards. This objection is best handled preemptively in Comfort, by conveying to her in one way or another that you like her and care about her. By waiting seven hours you will also demonstrate that you are not going to just leave her after sex.

    3) Rituals

    As was talked about in the last chapter, you want the girl to join you in building the seduction environment. By making the seduction mutual, you build momentum to help her overcome LMR. You also remove objections that have to do with her feeling that you are using her in some way.

    4) Arousal

    Take your time and gradually build up her arousal before you start undressing her. Overall you should focus on her pleasure before your own during the foreplay. It is just as much fun. With every woman, you can get her arousal to the point where she will start escalating towards sex on her own, at which point you will not have to deal with any LMR.

    5) Freeze out

    When you encounter resistance you should step back and do a freeze out. When she stops you – with, for example, "We shouldn't do this, let's stop" – just say, "I understand, no worries" and pull back. Switch to a non-sexual routine and act normal, as if she turned off your arousal. Just lean back, talk casually and relax. Show her that you are in control of your sex drive, that it is no big deal and that you are not there just for sex. When you do this she may start to seduce you instead. If not, you can wait a few minutes and then reinitiate the seduction. This time get her even more turned on than before. The LMR will be significantly reduced after a freeze out, although you may need to repeat it if she stops you again. In case she stopped you when you went for a piece of clothing, you can avoid the issue the second time by telling her to remove that piece on her own.

    Token resistance

    A second type of resistance you can come across is token resistance. It is token resistance if the woman is still into it, whereas if she is pulling away and not okay with it, it is real resistance. You would then need to step back and do a freeze out.

    The way to overcome token resistance is with increased arousal and playfulness. For example, if the girl says, "I don't usually do this", you can respond, "I know, we shouldn't be doing this. You know what else we shouldn't be doing?" and then you physically escalate. You should not try to fight her emotional resistance logically. Instead, just acknowledge her objection and move forward.

    Alternatively, you can stop and joke around a bit to make her realize that it is not a big deal. If you are both having fun and the girl can tell that you are not taking it too seriously, she will just go with the flow and have what she wants.

    S3 – Sex

    Sex is the last step in the game plan and is the point when the courtship ends and the relationship begins. For a number of reasons, it is a good idea to start a sexual relationship before you decide if you want to begin a solid affectionate relationship. Sex brings you closer like no other human experience. It allows you to see the girl as she really is, without all the clothes, makeup and other outward status differences. All the social preconceptions and masks are wiped away and a completely new way of seeing each other takes place.

    Another reason for quickly getting physically involved with the girl is because it gives you a lot more power in defining the relationship. Once you have shown her that you can rock her world like no one else, you have a lot of freedom to decide what type of relationship you want to have with her. Even if she only wanted a one night stand, after a night with you she will be more than willing to reconsider.

    Becoming a better lover

    Lovemaking is a skill. We are not born as great lovers. It is something that has to be learned. Compared with pleasing a man, pleasing a woman has a few more dimensions to it. As a result of this, many women are very sexually frustrated. Although a hard guy is easy to find, it is not so easy to find someone who can really satisfy her on all levels. This provides you with a simple and powerful way to distinguish yourself from pretty much every other guy. If you take the time and learn how to give her mind blowing pleasure, you can literally make her sexually addicted to you, to the point where she will want sex with you even more than you do.

    Becoming skilled at making women feel good is something every man should know. This chapter will provide an overview, but you should really study up on this subject. The girl will appreciate it and you will be coming from a different place than most other guys, knowing that she will have an incredible experience with you that she will never forget. This will improve your own enjoyment of sex as well, as you can take pleasure from her pleasure. After all, much of the fun in sex comes from making your lover feel incredible.

    The four elements

    Sex is very much a mental thing for women. While knowing the basic physical techniques is important, the psychological stimulation is even more essential. It is the reason why her sex toys are a poor substitute for the real thing. The psychological stimulation women need to be sexually satisfied comes down to four elements: dominance, emotion, variety and immersion. Let's examine each one in order.

    1) Dominance

    Women are sexually submissive creatures generally, whereas men are inherently dominant. It is the man’s role to be the leader in the bedroom and to assume responsibility for the woman’s pleasure. Although the woman’s sexual skills also matter, as the man you are primarily responsible for how good the sex is. You determine what will happen in the bedroom and how to give you both the most pleasure. There are exceptions of course. Some women are more dominant than others, and allowing the woman to lead occasionally is good for variety, but even then you are the one who is letting her lead.

    The desire to be dominated by a real man is one of the deepest desires of every woman. In the absence of this dominance, there is no sexual excitement. Just as when you approached her and led her through the courtship phases, you continue to lead the interaction in bed. You move her around, tell her what to do, change positions and decisively lead the experience forward to new levels of pleasure. It is a turn on for her in this context, whereas hesitations and asking for permission are turn offs. You want to give her the sexual pleasure that she lacks the courage to ask for on her own initiative.

    Another way to express your dominance is through dirty talk. Using a deep, dominant and seductive tonality you fill her ear with erotic language. You can for instance describe out loud what is happening, how good it feels or what you are going to do to her and how much she is going to enjoy it. Just let the words flow naturally, whatever comes to mind.

    2) Emotions

    In order to create strong emotions with a woman you must also feel strong emotions yourself. Women are naturally more emotional than men, so it is alright if your emotions are not quite as intense as hers. However, if your level of emotion is far below hers that is a problem. She will sense that you do not feel as strongly for her as she does for you and may hold back her own emotions to avoid being hurt.

    Just as dirty talk is a great way to make sex more dominant, emotional talk makes sex more emotional. They enhance each other. Exposing your own raw emotions this way will greatly intensify what she is feeling. Do not worry about making sense when you are combining emotional and dirty talk. It does not matter. The rule of thumb for emotional talk is to reciprocate the level of emotion she is expressing towards you. Becoming too emotional will ruin your dominance, but being significantly less emotional will inhibit her own emotions.

    Emotional talk could be, for example, telling her that you want her, that she was meant for you or that she belongs to you. Also, just as girls moan and scream in pleasure during sex, do not be afraid to let out passionate noises in bed. Let yourself naturally moan when you enter her and roar when you reach orgasm. Show her that you are enjoying it.

    3) Variation

    When it comes to sex there are endless possibilities for variation. Be creative and continually come up with new ways to keep sex fresh and exciting. This is especially important in a long-term relationship to avoid that sex becomes just a boring routine. After all, predictability is the root of all boredom. Here are a few different levels you can mix with.

    1. Locations – Have sex in different locations, not just the bed. For example, in the shower, on a chair or couch, in a hotel room, outdoors or in the back seat of your car.
    2. Time – Vary the time of the day that you have sex. Do not just have sex before you go to sleep. You can also vary how long you have sex for, how much foreplay you have and so on.
    3. Order – Do not go linearly from one step to the next every time you have sex. Mix things up and vary the menu.
    4. Positions – Learn and make use of a variety of different sexual positions. Also try new ones occasionally.
    5. Psychology – Add psychological as well as physical variation. You can, for example, emphasize a single psychological element, such as being more dominant, passionate, immersed, romantic or tantric.
    6. Taboo – Making her perceive having sex with you as high risk and taboo is one way to keep the excitement going. You can do this by exploring new sexual frontiers with her, such as semi-public sex, sex toys, bondage, threesomes, porn, sexual fantasies or having sex with your clothes still on.

    4) Immersion

    Immersion is your ability to be in the moment and experience things as they come without any distracting thoughts or fears. There is nothing that will kill your immersion like pressure. You need to let go of any insecurities, worries or other pressure factors and just have fun being in the moment and sharing it with her. It will help her to relax and enjoy it more as well. The first time you have sex with a woman you should emphasize this immersion aspect more than the other three elements.

    Female orgasms

    There are two basic kinds of orgasms a woman can have: clitoral and vaginal. The clitoral is the most common type a woman experiences and comes mainly from direct stimulation of the clitoris. This is typically how a woman masturbates. In contrast, vaginal orgasms come from direct stimulation of the inside of a woman’s vagina, mainly the g-spot. A clitoral orgasm is a sensation local to the genitals, whereas a vaginal orgasm provides a more powerful, full body type orgasm. Most women have not experienced the second kind which may make it harder for her to achieve it.

    Once the panties are off you have two choices. You can either give her a clitoral or a vaginal orgasm. Do not rely on being able to give the girl an orgasm through intercourse. Instead, start by giving her an orgasm through oral sex or using your fingers. When you help her experience an orgasm before you even start intercourse, it relieves you of much of the pressure to please her. It will also make her much more orgasmic during intercourse, as well as more willing to please you in return.

    Clitoral orgasm

    Oral sex is the easiest way to give a girl an orgasm. While you can use your fingers as well, the stimulation and moisture that your tongue provides is both physically and psychologically better. Your mouth also allows for a wide range of techniques – such as sucking, kissing, massaging and licking – the last of which is your main tool.

    Have the girl lie on her back and tell her to relax as you go down on her. Start with teasing and very light stimulation. You can, for example, tease her with a warm breath on her clitoris, kiss it and then lick it softly with the tip of your tongue. When she has reached the breaking point for teasing you can start escalating slowly to more forceful stimulation. As you apply oral stimulation be sure to read the girl's body language to see what she enjoys most.

    Keep in mind that the clitoris is very sensitive. It is the only human body part made only for sexual pleasure and has as many nerve endings as a man's entire penis. As such you should avoid stimulating it directly for very long, and even less so after it has become erect. Too much direct contact without a small break will numb it. Stimulate it for a while and then move on to a different area for a few seconds. That way when you go back the feeling will be even more intense for her without any numbness. Good ways to stimulate the clitoris include using a circular motion, a sideways motion, or an up-and-down motion with your tongue.

    Variety will add to her stimulation. Aside from the clitoris, some other erogenous zones to focus on include the inner lips, the vaginal passage and the U-spot. The U-spot is located above and on either side of the urethral opening. There are also the two clitoral nerves that go on either side of the clitoris and the pubic bone. In addition to varying the zones you stimulate, you can also vary the way you lick her – changing the direction of your tongue, its softness level, the pressure you apply and if you use the whole tongue or just the top. Be sure to use plenty of saliva as any dryness can be very painful for her. It also makes all the motions with your tongue feel better and gives her the sensation of being dripping wet, which she associates with being extremely turned on. Another way to add stimulation is to incorporate your fingers for some light vaginal penetration.

    When the woman is about to have a clitoral orgasm she may push her hips up into your mouth to feel more, which makes it harder for you to give her what she wants. To avoid this you can use your hands to physically hold her hips down to the bed. This is also very dominant. When she is nearing climax a good way to bring her over the edge is to lick the clitoris with a fast, darting motion up and down. After she has had the orgasm you can feel her come down and her muscles start to relax. Keep licking her softly for a minute or so afterwards. A woman takes longer to come down from an orgasm than a man, so let her enjoy the full after effects. Keep in mind that the clitoris becomes overly sensitive for about a minute after the orgasm and needs to rest before you can bring her to another clitoral orgasm. In contrast, the vagina has much more sexual endurance and is capable of having multiple orgasms in a row.

    Vaginal orgasm

    You can give the girl a vaginal orgasm even if it is your first time together and even if she has never had a vaginal orgasm before. The most reliable way to achieve it is to stimulate her g-spot using your fingers. With the girl aroused, slide your index or middle finger into her vagina along the front wall with your palm facing up. About two knuckles in (2.5–7.5 cm) you will feel a ridged area that is different from the smooth area surrounding it. This is the infamous g-spot, also called the goddess spot. At rest it is completely flat, but when a woman becomes aroused the spot will begin to swell and become more pronounced.

    Using the soft pad of your finger begin stroking the area by sliding your finger in and out. Alternatively, you can curl your finger and do a "come here" type of motion, as if you are trying to pull that spot out of her. Start off using light pressure and slow speed and gradually increase. Pay close attention to how she responds to figure out what speed and pressure she likes best. It is a good idea to start off with one finger, but once she is comfortable with that switch to two fingers. It provides greater stimulation and allows you to apply really firm pressure for a longer period of time without tiring.

    Some experienced women can reach vaginal orgasm within a few minutes, but for most women it will take longer. This is especially true if she has not had one before. Once she understands what that feeling is like when you stimulate her this way she is going to know what she is looking for, so she will be able to come quicker and quicker each time.

    When you feel her vaginal walls expand and contract around your fingers this is a sure indication that she is close to a vaginal orgasm. Keep on stimulating her the same way and do not let her contractions force your fingers out. When the woman orgasms you will feel a flow of wetness inside her, completely different from normal vaginal lubrication and her body may spasm uncontrollably. Just reassure her and keep doing what you are doing.

    Fountain orgasm

    Once the girl climaxes she may experience female ejaculation, also called fountain orgasm. This is an even stronger type of orgasm that occurs when a woman comes so hard that she actually ejaculates during the orgasm. As mentioned before, the g-spot swells up when the girl approaches an orgasm. This swelling comes from the urethral sponge located behind the g-spot which fills up with liquid. When the woman experiences a powerful orgasm this liquid may get pushed out of her urethra. This is one of the most powerful orgasms a woman can experience and not all women may be able to achieve it. When you feel that the girl is close to climaxing you can help her reach it by pressing firmly on the erect g-spot.

    A woman who is inexperienced with fountain orgasms may mistake the feeling with the urge to pee. She will then clench her PC muscle to hold it back and the ejaculation then has nowhere to go. Moreover, she will then only experience half the orgasm compared with if she pushes the ejaculation out. If the girl tells you that she feels like she is about to urinate, assure her that it is near impossible for her to pee and that she should just let go. The quantity of liquid that is squirted out can vary a lot, from a light gushing to an actual drenching spray. Have some towels handy.

    Continuous orgasm

    After a vaginal orgasm chances are the girl may want a break. On the other hand, if you get the impression that she is ready for more you can go for another round as women are able to have multiple vaginal orgasms with no let-up in between. Instead of letting her come down you keep on stimulating her right through and after her orgasm. This can be done using your fingers, through intercourse or with toys. With each successive orgasm she will reach higher and higher levels of arousal, to the point when her orgasms will start to become indistinct and blend into each other. This is called the continuously orgasmic state and is considered the most intense orgasm that a girl can experience.


    After giving the girl an orgasm she will be physically and mentally ready for you. This is the time to put on the condom if you have not already. You should always practice safe sex until you know that you can trust your partner. Sex without condoms is much more pleasurable for both parties, because of the increased physical and psychological stimulation it provides. However, it is also much more risky and requires a high degree of trust in your partner in terms of birth control and STDs. It is recommended that you take an STD test together before you start to have unprotected sex.

    Not all women produce enough lubrication for clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration. For this reason, keep a lubricant within reach of the bed at all times and use it as necessary. With a lubricant you will also be able to have sex without any foreplay, which adds another level of variation for both of you. Most condoms are somewhat lubricated, but they rarely have enough of it so you may want to provide some of your own. Be sure to use a water-based lubricant in combination with condoms to avoid weakening the latex. If you do not have a lubricant available you can use saliva instead.

    When you enter the girl do so slowly while maintaining eye contact. See how she responds. If she experiences pain you may want to slow down further or apply more lubrication. Start moving gently and gradually increase the speed until you find a good rhythm. When you feel a position is getting too repetitive, switch to another one. You have to keep your pace for her to orgasm, but until she is close to that stage you can add in a lot of variety. You can vary your speed, rhythm, angle, penetration technique and how deep you go, as well as which sexual positions you use. Remember the location of the g-spot and clitoris. To help the girl orgasm from penetration sex you should use positions that allow you to rub against one of these spots.

    The Missionary position is the most common sexual position and is a good place to start, although it is not very stimulating for the girl. Two variations of the Missionary position are the Nirvana and the Hero. With Nirvana you shift your body a bit forward to rub against her clitoris. With the Hero position you raise the girl’s knees up and back towards her chest, thereby changing the penetration angle to allow you to rub against her g-spot. These are just two examples. See this site for 100 sexual positions together with illustrations.

    Keep in mind not to focus just on the groin during sex. Let your hands and mouth play and caress other parts of your lover's body. You can for example play with her breasts, squeeze her buttocks, smell her hair or gently bite her neck. It adds to her arousal and is a lot of fun.

    How to last longer

    Most guys cannot control how long they last. One moment they are lost in ecstasy, the next it is all over. Ejaculation is triggered too fast and once spent their arousal drops like a stone. The average intercourse is only four minutes long, whereas you want at least to have the option of lasting for 45 minutes or more – at the very least, long enough for her to have a penetration orgasm. This is not as difficult as it may sound and with a few simple techniques you will be able to last virtually however long you want, until your partner is sexually satisfied and you are ready to join in that pleasurable sensation too.

    The main thing about controlling how long you last is to be aware of your own level of arousal. Consider a man's arousal to be a scale between 0 and 10, where 0 is no arousal and 10 is ejaculation. On this scale you should be between 7 and 8 during sex, the pleasure zone. At 9 you are too near the point of no return. To maintain the 7–8 level of arousal you have a number of techniques at your disposal.

    1. Breathing – Take slow, deep breaths. It clears your mind, relaxes you and improves your stamina. In contrast, most men’s breathing get shallow and fast when they get excited, which is terrible for their stamina.
    2. Physical relaxation – Keep your body relaxed instead of tensed up. This will improve your stamina and give you greater control. Again, most guys tend to tense up during sex.
    3. Mental relaxation – Let yourself be in the moment and in your senses instead of in your head. By enjoying the various sensations you have you will be able to diffuse pleasure throughout your whole body.
    4. Speed control – As the man you control the speed in most positions. If you feel yourself getting close to the point of no return you can slow yourself down or even stop. You have to keep your pace for her to orgasm, but do not feel you need to go faster and faster.
    5. Position – Positions where the man is parallel to the girl tend to be more stimulating for the man than positions where he is coming in at an angle. Likewise, positions where the girl is moving instead of you will allow you to more easily maintain your level of arousal.
    6. Pulling – In most sexual positions you have the option of pushing her into you instead of thrusting into her. This feels the same to the girl, but it decreases the drain on your stamina. As you are not moving you will be able to stay as relaxed as you need to maintain your level of arousal.
    7. Control – How long you last in the bedroom is not always about penetration. Instead of getting overexcited you can change what you are doing at any time. Switching position, pulling out, teasing her, doing 69, giving oral stimulation and generally deciding the outcome of the experience.
    8. Condom – Wearing a thicker or performance enhancing condom is an easy and not too suspicious way to reduce your sensitivity and help you to last longer.
    9. Diversion – Press the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, a simple yet effective diversion tactic that is unknown to your lover. Be careful not to do it too much or you are no longer enjoying the experience.

    Male multiple orgasms

    It is possible to achieve multiple orgasms as a man without losing arousal in between. The key is to realize that the orgasm is different from the ejaculation. While the ejaculation kills arousal, the orgasm actually increases it. Although the orgasm normally accompanies the ejaculation, it is possible to achieve pre-ejaculatory orgasms without the accompanying ejaculation. The orgasm alone lasts far longer than the ejaculation high and instead of fading the arousal gets stronger with each successive orgasm.

    Achieving multiple orgasms requires you to have a high degree of control over your stamina and where you are on the arousal scale in order to avoid ejaculating. The key is to bring yourself as close to the point of no return as you humanly can without crossing it. Once you are there, cease the stimulation and tighten your PC muscle. The PC muscle is located directly behind the testicles and is the muscle used to control the flow of urine. Tightening this muscle will help to trigger the orgasm signal. If you have mistakenly gone past the point of no return then clenching the PC muscle tightly can also prevent you from ejaculating. Another method is to squeeze right below the head of your penis. This pushes blood out and represses the ejaculatory response.

    Let the arousal fall for 10–30 seconds to 3–4 on the arousal scale before you continue. Then slowly work your way up the scale again and repeat the process. Each time you bring yourself to the point of no return your body expects a payoff. If it does not get one your body will invent its own orgasm. This will not happen immediately but by practicing this for several sessions and with several pauses in each session you can retrain your body to experience it every time. You can practice this on your own before you do it with your lover and it does not matter if you end with an ejaculation or not.

    Outlast her

    Even after the act of ejaculating you have the option to continue. You can keep going and ignore the drop in arousal. Keep kissing her, caressing her and using your foreplay skills until you recover and are ready for the next round, and the next. Most men last much longer the second time around and with practice you will be able to last longer the first time as well.

    You want to outlast her. Get her to say that you need to stop. She will brag about how long you lasted to her girlfriends and if you create an open relationship with her she will want to share you. Keep in mind that anything from kissing is considered sex for women.


    It is important to show affection after sex as this is when she is most emotionally vulnerable. This is especially true the first time if you want to take the relationship further. You can hold her in your arms, kiss her and tell her how much she means to you and how amazing the sex was. This lets you solidify the emotional and physical connection you have built during the courtship. It also alleviates any fears she may have, that you will not respect her or that you do not care for her.

    Do not let what you have built go to waste by acting platonic or leaving her after sex. Hang out with her afterwards. Show her that you will stick around if she wants you to. Bring her water, cuddle with her and make her feel good. You can also end with something classy, such as sharing a bubble bath or feeding her grapes.


    Your goal with learning the seduction arts may be to sleep with a lot of women, to find a lover or to get married. There is not a right or wrong choice, it is your preference. What you want can also be different for different women and may change over time. The same applies to women. Some girls know what kind of relationship they want, while others are more flexible. Keep in mind that even if you do not want the same thing long term, you may still want to be together in the short term because you enrich each other's lives.

    Relationship talk

    During the courtship the girl may ask what you are looking for in a relationship or tell you what she wants. Whatever your agenda is, it is important that you are honest when this subject comes up so as to not give her any false expectations. If the girl does not bring up the subject it is alright to assume you will just have a light, casual relationship to try things out and see how they develop. The girl is not going to demand exclusivity just because you sleep together. Likewise, you do not want to demand exclusivity from her early on, as that puts an enormous pressure on the relationship. Just keep things casual and give her a chance to win you over.

    Whereas it is the man's role to seduce the woman, it is the woman's role to put effort into getting the two of you in a relationship. If the sex is good she almost always will, usually within a few weeks. Until then you do not need to verbalize the relationship. Just assume she wants the same as you until she says otherwise, at which point you can renegotiate your relationship. If you feel a need to explicitly define your relation before this, the best time to have relationship talk would be right after sex, as this is when your value is at its highest.

    There are many different kinds of relationships you can have with girls. The sexual relationships fall into two different types: physical and affectionate. Let's examine the physical ones first.

    Physical relationships

    A physical relationship is one where you are intimate with each other without there being a bond of love between you. It is hard to believe for many guys that most women go through a time in their life where they just want to have no-strings-attached physical relationships. If you make this part of your reality you can have a lot of fun. As a man you should not feel bad about wanting a purely physical relationship with a girl. These relationships are initiated by girls as often as they are by guys. Furthermore, they can be used as a springboard for more affectionate relationships should you later want to take things further.

    One night stand

    The one night stand is when you share a night of passion with a stranger and then leave in the morning never to see each other again. It is the shortest form of physical relationship, but may transition into a longer one. The bar scene is a good place to find women who are interested in a one night stand. Look for girls who are clearly out to have fun, who are dancing on the dirty side or who keep glancing around the room to see who glances back. They may not necessarily be out to get laid, but it is a good place to start. Keep in mind that if you are looking for an affectionate relationship, rather than only a physical one, the one night stand is not the best way to start it.

    The game plan is slightly different for the one night stand. You start with Attraction but then proceed to Seduction with little or no Comfort in between. You skip the emotional connection and go straight for the physical connection with rapid kino escalation. Hold back on the couple kino and focus mainly on the sexual, until one of you asks to go someplace private. Her place is usually the ideal seduction location, as she will be more comfortable there and you have the option of leaving before dawn. When you arrive at the seduction location let the kissing and undressing ensue the moment you walk through the door and go straight into Foreplay.

    Do not expect pancakes in the morning. Just tell her you had a great time and make a graceful exit. If she was good in bed and you want to see her again, you can take her number and add her to your booty call list. Your relationship then moves up to booty call status. Sometimes, when you have performed above and beyond the call of duty, it happens the other way around. The girl will chase you down as you are leaving and ask to see you again. Either way, do not take her number if you are not going to call her. Be honest with her throughout the interaction and do not give her any false expectations.

    To prevent the girl from getting attached to you, you should play the role of the attractive lover without any hint of being the caring provider. This will also make the hook up easier, as she will be more likely to let her guard down and allow herself to be seduced when she does not have to judge you as a long-term provider. Another key point is to make the seduction fast, over the course of a few hours or at most a night. That way the girl will not get the idea that this one night of fun will necessarily lead to anything more substantial.

    Booty call girl

    A booty call girl is someone you have a purely physical relationship with. It typically starts as a one night stand that you both decide to make a habit of, knowing that it is just sex and nothing more. You are intimate, honest and treat each other well, but there is no love between you and you do not hang out just as friends. Anytime one of you feels the urge you need only lift up the phone and call, hence the name. The main key to getting one or more booty call girls is to be exceptional in bed. Keep in mind that women love great sex just as much as men do, sometimes more. They just have a few more social issues to deal with.

    Not every girl you sleep with will you be able to fall in love with. She may be emotionally unavailable, you may be, or you are otherwise incompatible. A booty call relationship can then be something fun you have together, while you are both on the lookout for a more compatible partner. This relationship type can also be desirable because you do not have time for a full, affectionate relationship, or because you like the sexual variety. Either way a booty call relationship allows you to be intimate without having to maintain a relationship or feel constrained by each other's emotions.

    The biggest issue with a booty call relationship is that casual sex is seldom casual. Even if you are incompatible and know that an affectionate relationship would not be a good idea, being intimate with someone may eventually lead to feelings of attachment and love. If you purposefully do not want the relationship to progress further you need to have certain ground rules in place. The main rule is to limit the amount of time you spend together. No matter how emotionally unavailable you may be, if you are seeing each other several times a week you are already setting the groundwork for things to escalate beyond booty call status. One way to avoid this is to get someone else into your booty call rotation.

    Sex friend

    A sex friend is a friend that you also have a no-strings-attached, physical relationship with. It could be a friend that you seduce or a booty call girl that you have gotten close to. Either way you hang out to have fun and not just for sex. You are not in love or exclusive with each other, but you like and care for one another. It is a solid foundation that can easily progress into an affectionate relationship.

    Going from friend to sex friend can be a straightforward process, provided that there is mutual attraction between you and that you are both single and looking. The first step would be to get some time alone with the girl at your place. As she is a friend you already have comfort with her and so this step should be easy. Next, you need to figure out if she is attracted to you and if she also would like to take things further. One way to find out would be to do some playful flirting and see if she reciprocates. If so you can proceed from C3 in the game plan. Play it slowly and calibrate how she feels about it every step of the way. In case you are unsure if she would respond positively to the seduction, you can bring up the subject beforehand and ask how she would feel about you becoming more than just friends. Keep in mind though that in the process of asking rather than doing you may make the desired outcome less likely to occur.

    If the girl does not reciprocate your show of interest she most likely sees you only as a platonic friend and not a sexy friend. This is often the case when you have been in the friend zone with a girl for a long period of time. In this case you will need to build attraction first before you attempt to escalate your relationship. There may also be other social issues that prevent her from reciprocating your interest, but often it is because your role as a friend has already been established. As a consequence of this, it is actually easier to build a new relationship with a new person than it is to change your existing relationship with a friend. Also keep in mind that if you do seduce your friend it will change your relationship significantly. It will be difficult to go back to the innocent fun you had before should you ever want to. However, the chance that your relationship can become something greater may well be worth the risk.

    Affectionate relationships

    An affectionate relationship is one where you love your partner and she loves you back. This bond may not form initially, but after a number of meetings following the courtship it will almost always happen, provided that you both like each other and you allow yourselves to fall in love. Even though women are more expressive with their emotions, it is actually men who tend to fall in love first. Men will usually feel the bond within a few weeks of intimate meetings, whereas women may need a month or more for their feelings to solidify to the same extent.

    To start an affectionate relationship you need to play all stages of courtship – Attraction, Comfort and Seduction – to set up the relationship correctly from the beginning. The Comfort phases play a much more important role for affectionate relationships than for physical ones. They allow you to hang out and have fun with the girl while you find out if you would be compatible for a deeper relationship. After all, even though love is essential in a long-term, affectionate relationship, a strong bond of friendship is even more so. Furthermore, the emotional connection you build in Comfort is also the first step towards falling in love.


    A lover is someone you have an open affectionate relationship with, as opposed to an exclusive one. You have the same bond as with a girlfriend, but without the commitment to only sleep with one another. It leaves both of you free to be with other partners without the feelings of betrayal that would occur in an exclusive relationship. This kind of relationship is not one you have while you are looking for someone better. It is a real relationship, but one without the need to tie each other down.

    The key to a successful open relationship is to let go of any feelings of jealousy. One way to eliminate jealousy between you is to have good, non-judgmental communication about each other's sex lives. You tell each other when you have slept with someone else and it is up to the other person if they want details. Her honesty should always result in your positive feedback or she will be much more likely to want to lie or hide things in the future. Ask if she had fun and be happy for her that she had a good time. When there is open communication like this any feelings of jealousy will tend to go away.

    Exclusivity in a relationship is not implicit. When you start a relationship with a girl she will probably be dating other men. Likewise, she will assume that you are seeing other girls. After all, if she likes you she expects other girls to like you as well. You are in effect lovers by default, unless you start off with a boyfriend/girlfriend frame. If your lover at some point asks for exclusivity but you want to continue the open relationship, you need to be sure to frame your relationship in a way that leaves her feeling satisfied.

    You can, for example, tell her that she is important to you and that you really like being with her, but that you are at a point in your life where you enjoy meeting new people and being social. The unsaid implication that you may want something exclusive in the future gives just enough of an expectation so that virtually all girls will stay with you. Also make it clear to her that the two of you do have a relationship. You are not just sex friends, but involved in an affectionate, open relationship. Finally, tell her that you want her to be able to see other guys and not feel guilty about it. As long as you make the girl feel well qualified and valued she will be just as satisfied in an open relationship as in an exclusive one.


    A girlfriend is someone you are in love with and have decided to have an exclusive relationship with. You commit to remain faithful and to love only her, and trust her to do the same for the duration of the relationship. This relationship status may be appropriate if you have no desire to be with other women or if you are not fond of the idea of your girl being with other men. You may also have started off as lovers and then transitioned into an exclusive relationship because you want to have a deeper relationship with just this girl. It is usually not difficult to get exclusivity with a woman, as most women like to have exclusive relationships with guys they have strong emotions for.

    Even though you are in an exclusive relationship it is important that you still keep your social circle going. That way if the relationship does not work out you will not be starting from square one again. The girl may be a good match for you now but people tend to change once they are in an intimate relationship and so it may not last forever.


    Your wife is the love of your life, your best friend and your lifetime companion. When you do find a girl that is most everything you could ever want you may eventually want to marry her and start a family. While all relationships can be short or long term, none are quite as long as this one. Getting married is a once in a lifetime decision for many people and it is not something that should be rushed into. Love can cause you to be in denial about a lot of things, but to have a successful marriage you need more than just love. You want to be sure that your partner and you have compatible personalities, interests and lifestyles. Though opposites can attract, it is the commonalities that hold you together for the long term. Finding the right person does not mean that the two of you will not have difficulties or differences to deal with. However, with the right person you will know that the two of you will be able to work through any issues that could hurt your relationship.

    Social Skills

    Part of the very core of success with women is basic social skills. If you cannot carry a conversation with a stranger and have them find you interesting, then doing the same with an attractive woman will be very difficult. Training conversations with people you meet in everyday life is a good start, but there are a few other things you can do to boost your social skills. Let's talk about these in this chapter.

    Assume rapport

    To make the girl comfortable with you, you need to be comfortable around her. Most men turn into something other than a comfortable version of themselves when talking to a woman they feel attracted to. You should do the opposite. Assume familiarity and rapport with the girl, as if you have known her for a long time. To do this you need to act very comfortable in her presence and talk to her as a friend you know and trust well. It will make the girl comfortable with you very quickly which will allow her to just be herself with you without any social mask. After just a few hours this method of communicating will make her feel like she has known you for a long time and has full trust in you.

    Be in the moment

    When it comes to attractive women, men tend to be stuck in their head way too much – imagining scenarios and thinking through what they are going to say. This is not what you want to be thinking of. Prepare as much as you need before going out, but once you are in the field: no more thinking! Get out of your head and into your senses and what is going on. Actually be there with her in the present moment, enjoying the time you spend together. The more you are in the moment with the girl – whether talking, listening or doing something together – the easier it is to calibrate the interaction with her, to sense where you are and what is going on.

    Talkative state

    In the field, saying something is often better than saying nothing. For this reason you should be in a talkative state when you approach a girl. The talkative state is that euphoric state of mind when you are just overflowing with things to say and can talk to anyone, say anything and have it work.

    One way to get into this state is to do a couple of warm up interactions when you first arrive at a venue, just to be social and have fun. Then when you are warmed up you go for the groups that have girls you are attracted to in them. Another technique for inducing the talkative state would be to practice mind talking.

    Mind talking

    Mind talking is a technique where you lower the filter for what comes out of your mouth. You literally say whatever comes to mind, free-flowing your inner dialog to the outer world nearly uncensored. This is similar to the effect alcohol has, but it allows you to stay sharp and focused. By training this technique, and by knowing that your thoughts will be spoken out loud, the quality of your thoughts will tend to increase rapidly. And with them so will your social skills.


    Multi-threading means that you have several different conversation threads going at once, as opposed to moving linearly from one thread to the next. There are several reasons for doing this. First, it assumes a deep rapport. It is a pattern of communication that happens naturally in any conversations with close friends. If you talk about one topic with a friend and an interesting tangent topic comes up you do not stick rigorously to the first topic. You switch to the new thread and may or may not back track to the first thread later. Using this pattern helps you to fake rapport until you have it for real. Another reason for multi-threading is that it allows you to create a more emotionally charged and interesting conversation. It also gives you greater flexibility and more options for what to talk about, which lets you avoid awkward pauses.

    Transition patterns

    There are many ways of transitioning smoothly between threads. Here is a quick overview of some thread transition patterns.

    1. Open loop – An open loop is an unanswered question. For example, when you are asked an interesting question in the middle of a thread you can say, "I'll tell you about that in a minute". Instead of switching to that thread immediately you just acknowledge it, so that you can come back to it later.
    2. Gradual shift – When the girl runs a story you can change the thread to a semi-related one by saying something along the lines of "It's just like when" or "That reminds me of".
    3. Foreshadowing – You can suggest a thread to entice the girl to want to pursue it next. For example, "I have to tell you about the time I ran from the police after this" or "We need to play the question game later".
    4. Background info – You pause a story to add information on what happened before the present in the story. For instance, "Then I was invited to the VIP area of the club. This was because the week before I had…"
    5. Character info – You tell a story about one of the characters from your current story. For example, "So there I was with my friend Alex, and the thing about Alex is that he's a gambler and a liar. This one time he was caught by security at a casino. What happened was…"
    6. Tangent – You pause your thread and transition to an unrelated thread. Here is an example, "You know what they say about a girl who wears a ring on that finger?" <No, what?> "Tell me something interesting about yourself first". This is a cold reading routine stacked forward into a qualification routine.
    7. Tension – You interrupt a story and switch to a new thread right before the climax to create unresolved tension for the girl. She will want to find out what happened to get that emotional release, but you make her wait a bit for it.
    8. No transition – You simply finish a routine and start a new, unrelated one taken from your routine stack. For example, one way to start a story is to make a generalized statement, such as "All girls are perverts", and then proceed to tell a story about why this is so.


    Hooking is a skill you can develop for carrying longer and more meaningful conversations. What it means is simply that you look for hooks in the girl's conversation threads – something she says that you can comment on, ask about, relate to or share a story on. It allows you to transition into deeper conversational threads and makes the conversation more interesting for both of you.

    The prerequisite for this skill is to be a good listener, which is the foremost communication skill. Whenever the girl is talking you should listen and remember her responses, instead of being in your own head thinking of what you are going to do or say next. Show interest. Reward her with your full attention when she is investing in the conversation. Once you get good at this skill you will never have to worry about finding topics to talk about again. She will give you all the material you will need for carrying the interaction forward.

    To get good at hooking and listening you can practice repeating in your mind’s ear what she is saying as she is saying it. It lets you understand what she is saying on a deeper level, which will make finding the hooks easier. Do not allow her to finish her whole thread before you contribute. As soon as you find a hook wait for her to end her sentence and then give your input. This way you will not interrupt her in a way that devalues what she is saying. After one or more new threads you may have her backtrack to the first one.


    Calibration is the ability to read the girl to determine where you stand in the interaction and where you can go next. This ability will improve through experience, but just by being totally immersed in the interaction you will be able to sense a lot of what is going on. You will be able to tell what is working and what is not, and how to take things forward.

    The game plan and gradual escalation routines are designed so that things happen naturally. They will dampen the impact of misreading the situation and allow you to recover more easily. However, by learning to calibrate you will be able to sense to a great extent whether something will work or not even before you do it, by reading the level of attraction, comfort and arousal that the girl is at.

    Calibration is particularly important for determining when to transition between steps in the game plan. For example, before moving from A2 to A3 the advice was to look for three IOIs. A more accurate description would be to make the transition when you know the girl is attracted to you. However, until you are socially savvy enough to be able to detect that the method of counting IOIs works better.

    Another place where calibration is important is in kino escalation. You need to be able to tell when and how often to escalate based on the girl’s comfort level. Something mechanical such as doing kino every 15 minutes will not work. Likewise, when you go for the escalation you need to judge her reaction to know whether she enjoys it or not and when to release the kino. All of this is made easier as your ability to calibrate improves.

    Frame control

    Within every interaction there is always someone who controls the frame, the underlying meaning of what is going on, and in your interactions this would be you. She needs to know that she is stepping into your world where you control the frame. Frame control does not mean that you dominate the conversation verbally. On the contrary, let her talk as much as she wants to. But you need to be the one who dictates where the interaction is going and what topics are discussed. You do this by leading the interaction forward with your social skills and routines.

    If she is not really interested in your current conversational thread, cut it off and switch to another one. Likewise, if she brings up a boring thread you need to recognize that and change to something else. You are not opposed to discussing her threads if she invests something positive, but if she does not you need to cut her thread off and get back to your own material. If you engage in a boring, non-emotional thread she will unconsciously blame you for making the interaction boring. This in turn will diminish her attraction for you, even if it was she who brought up the thread. If she tries to re-initialize a boring thread a second time then call her on it. Tell her playfully that you are out to have fun and that she is ruining the mood.

    She will be more comfortable and trust you more if you are the one that leads the interaction forward. If you try to get her to lead it becomes a numbers game at best. Even if you have attraction, she is unlikely to lead the interaction in the direction you want. This is especially true if she is in a logical frame of mind. Due to social programming, the girl is not going to make any logical decisions that make you sleep together, no matter how much she wants to. She needs you to lead the interaction forward and bring her into an emotional state of mind, where she will be receptive to your advances. You want to enroll her for a wild ride in your VIP reality, your vision of the evening, where you lead her from one enjoyable experience to the next, culminating in the seduction and the beginning of the sexual relationship.


    A routine is a field tested set of actions you perform to achieve a desired result. Often, when a man first begins his quest to get better with women he is unsure of what to say, how to keep the conversation going and how to take the interaction forward. This is where routines come in. They allow you to add upgrades to your personality to get past your sticking points and to make the progression smoother for both you and the girl.

    Kissing routine

    As an example, consider kissing a girl for the first time. Your natural routine may be to just go for it, after much hesitation, hoping that you have read the situation correctly and that she will not move away from the kiss. This may or may not work. It is a percentage game which depends a great deal on how fine-tuned your calibration skill is for reading the mood. Compare it with the following kino routine:

    The girl is smiling at you and having a good time. You reach over and gently touch her hair. Play with it a bit and say it looks nice. If she likes it, things are good. While smiling look down at her lips and back to her eyes. She will know what that means. Go in slowly and kiss her. If you want her to feel really swept away, you can place your hands under her ears and pull her lips to yours. As soon as you are done lean back and just look into her eyes, letting the anticipation build.

    This routine has several interesting aspects. First of all, if the girl is comfortable with you touching her hair she is also comfortable kissing you. Furthermore, the hair touching allows you to build up towards the kiss. Finally, the looking at her lips part lets you signal your intent and gives her some time to prepare.

    With routines like this you do not need to wait for the mood to be right. You create the mood right then and there. It is a good routine for use in C1 or C2. Add it to your routine stack.

    Routine stack

    Throughout this book several routines have been suggested for use at different phases of the game plan. Based on these routines, and the theory provided, create your own routines that suit your style and personality. The routines you internalize for use in your game then become part of your routine stack.

    How many routines you want to have in your stack depends on your social skills. If you are a socially savvy person you may need just a handful of routines in combination with the game plan to achieve consistent success. On the other hand, if your social skills are lacking you can compensate for that with a greater number of routines.

    Routines can be divided into two categories: escalation and interaction. It is good to have separate stacks for these two categories.

    Escalation routines

    Escalation routines are ones you perform more or less with every girl as part of the courtship dance. These include:

    Opener routines – Starts the conversation. Have two or three openers ready for A1.
    DHV routines – Displays your attractive personality and triggers interest in A2. Two or three of these will do.
    Qualification routines – Use these for qualifying the girl in A3 and also in C1/C2 for building the emotional connection. Five to ten of these are plenty.
    Kino escalation routines – Routines for escalating the girl's physical comfort level with you. Starts in A2 and continues into C3. Have some 10 to 15 kino escalation routines ready.
    Transition routines – Let you move from one phase to the next. For example, your C2→C3 transition routine would be used to get the girl to follow you to the seduction location.

    These are the minimum number of routines you need to take a girl from A1 to S3 and have her enjoy the process. If you like to vary yourself you can have a much larger stack of escalation routines to switch things up with. If you are good at improvising you can also make up your own in the spur of the moment.

    Only 10% of the courtship time is taken up by escalation routines. The other 90% is spent free flowing – having fun, teasing, flirting and having a real conversation with the girl as you build attraction and comfort. This is where your awesome social skills come into play. Of course, if you had those social skills you would probably not be reading this so let’s cover interaction routines as well.

    Interaction routines

    Interaction routines are used to keep the interaction going. Say your social skills fail you in your time of need and the conversation dies down. Then this is the routine stack you turn to – a collection of routines that you can use in any phase to help supplement your social skills in between the escalation routines. Here are some example interaction routine types:

    Topics – Fascinating topics that lead to deep conversations. For example, talk about peak life experiences.
    Questions – Useful for starting new threads or for getting a laugh. For example, "On a scale from 1 to 10, how would you feel about riding a roller coaster naked?"
    Story telling – Stories let you convey your personality and life experiences. For example, "Let me tell you about Greece…"
    Cold reading – Any technique where you tell the girl something about herself. For example, "Ever had your palm read?"
    Role playing – Assume a role with an obvious counterpart and she will play along. For example, boyfriend/girlfriend or brother/sister.
    Future projection – Talk about a future adventure scenario where you two are together. For example, "Imagine you and me walking along a warm sandy beach. We have just been out partying and it is the perfect temperature for a nighttime swim..."
    Misinterpretations – Some misinterpretation can spice up any conversation. For example, when the girl ignores her ringing phone go "You're such a player".
    Games – Silly kid games and other routines that demonstrate playfulness can be great fun. For example, "1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war".
    Teaching – Teach her something awesome or useful. For example, "Do you know the L.A. handshake?"
    Themes – A reoccurring theme that you can bring back. For example, a cute nickname tied to something distinctive about her, or a point system, "You're such a pain. Minus two points".
    Small talk – Fluff conversation to show that you are actually for real. Gives a nice contrast. For example, "So, what have you done today?" or "How are you doing tonight?"

    Interaction routines are interchangeable. You can swap out a story and swap in a game and it does the same thing. They allow you to have fun, which in turn brings you closer together. They also assume you have a strong rapport which builds your actual rapport. As long as you are doing the escalation routines you will be making progress no matter what interaction routines you are using in between. Find ones that match your personality and style and mix things up. As you learn to cultivate a great repertoire of interaction routines you will be amazed to see how quickly you can make the girl feel comfortable with you.


    For a routine to be useful it needs to be internalized. You need to practice it until it becomes a part of who you are, otherwise your delivery will not be natural. Once a routine has been internalized you will be able to run it habitually. This will allow you to focus on more important things than what you are doing – such as listening to her, reading her response, calibrating where you are at in the interaction or being in your senses enjoying the moment. Note that interaction routines should only be conceptually remembered, whereas escalation routines are more scripted.

    Cheat sheet

    The cheat sheet is a list containing the titles of the routines you have internalized for use in your game. It can be an actual small sheet of paper or a note on your phone. It is good to have one because sometimes your brain just goes blank. Knowing that you have a list of routines you can turn to if you get stuck will also boost your conversational confidence.


    Having passionate conversations is a great way to get closer to the girl. When it comes to conversations, think topics and not word-for-word lines or routines. It gives a much more natural flow. By having a repertoire of interesting topics to talk about, you will be able to have really fascinating conversations with women anywhere.

    Emotional relevance

    For a topic to be interesting it needs to have some emotional relevance to us. This is especially true for women, as they have a richer emotional life and feel emotions more strongly than men do. In addition to picking a topic that she finds fascinating and wants to talk about, you should bring positive emotions of your own into the conversation.

    Part of what makes a topic interesting is how you talk about it. When you talk about your life, for example, do it in a way that brings passion into it. That is a very attractive quality in men. By communicating that what you are saying is interesting, it becomes interesting to her. Whatever it is – your job, hobbies, house or friends – be enthusiastic. Girls want to be around guys who make them feel better, who lift them up. You want to be someone who can make her forget about her problems.

    Topic categories

    Bring up topics that are fun, interesting and that have emotional relevance to her. Here are some categories of conversation topic that are easy to make interesting to women.

    Her – Everybody's favorite topic is themselves. Women like to talk about themselves just as men do. It provides an opportunity for you to learn more about her.
    You – Once the girl is attracted to you she is going to want to know more about you. To allow for this you can tell her stories from your own life, but be sparing with the facts, at least in the beginning of Comfort. You want there to be an air of mystery to you so she does not feel that she has you all figured out. It keeps things more interesting for her and helps maintain the attraction.
    Social dynamics – Talk freely about sex, dating, male-female dynamics and the games people play.
    Interests – Converse about some of your interests, hobbies and pastimes.
    Experiences – Get talking about the most exciting, adventurous and passionate things you have done.
    Mystery – People are interested in the unknown. If you put things in black and white they are not as interesting.
    Conflict – Anytime you can bring up human conflict in a fun way it will be interesting to women.
    Relationships – Talk about people and their relationships. For example, guess what is going on with another couple seated nearby.
    Drama – Women love to discuss drama and scandals, especially if it relates to someone famous.
    Popular culture – Music, movies, celebrities, style, TV series, YouTube channels, magazines. Discuss things that are going on.
    Situation – Have fun discussing things in the environment and what is happening around you.

    Death topics

    In your early conversations with a woman you should avoid "death" topics. These are any topics that are negative, serious, factual, common and ultimately boring. You do not want these to be associated with you. You want your connection to be one of fun. That will move you forward most quickly. In interactions with women it is usually the guy who will bring up these topics within the first few minutes of conversation. He will start talking about the routine boring subjects – such as work, weather, politics, religion or sports. Such topics may be interesting to him but not to the girl. These conversational threads are not conducive to your game plan. There is a way to talk about almost any subject with passion and emotions, to make it interesting to women, but using topics that are inherently interesting makes things a whole lot easier.

    Collect interesting topics

    Whenever you come across an interesting topic of conversation, jot it down. You can find them anywhere. Comedy shows are a great place to look for these topics, but you can also find them through regular conversations with other people. It helps enormously to have a stack of interesting topics ready to go for the Comfort phases.

    You also want to go through your own life experiences and find interesting topics that have meaning to you, the moments that you remember. For example, you can jot down some peak life experiences, hobbies, areas of expertise, defining moments and travels you have made. Then create accompanying stories that illustrate these. Be sure to practice your conversation topics with someone to find good responses and directions.


    Women are looking for a real man. A strong guy who has principles, values and who sticks to his own path. However, they cannot trust the man to be honest about his strengths and weaknesses. Since the man's value comes mostly from his attitude, and attitude can be faked, she needs to test the man to determine his true value. Only through this can she determine if she can trust him to be a real man in the face of challenges. This type of testing is a pretty much universal behavior that takes place both consciously and unconsciously for women. Typically, the more attractive and socially savvy the woman is, the better she is at testing.

    Women test men in various ways during the courtship, especially in the beginning. They have done it so much that it has become part of their way of communicating. For example, a girl may ask you to buy her a drink, challenge you in front of other people or cancel plans without notice. She may start flirting with other guys, bring up past relationships or construct needless drama. All of this just to see how you will react. In subtle or not so subtle ways she will try to see if she can upset you, control you or make you deviate from your principles.

    From a man’s perspective this behavior may seem irrational – that women would play these kinds of mind games – but from the perspective of attractive women it makes sense. The man’s role is not only the lover and provider, but also the protector. If she can dominate you verbally or by manipulating your actions, and you let her get away with that, she comes to the conclusion that she is stronger than you. If something bad happens, she certainly cannot turn to you to handle it. That is not what she wants. She wants to know that the man she is with is going to be the man.

    Handling tests

    The key to handling tests is never to lose your cool. You must maintain your composure no matter what the girl throws at you. When you do not give her the reaction she expects and instead remain calm and composed it will make a huge impression on her and boost the attraction. Conversely, the moment a woman can perceive that you are being emotionally reactive towards her you are going to lose value. If you start failing these tests they will only get tougher and more intense until she leaves.

    You should be the calmer person in all situations, even when the girl throws a tantrum. If you can maintain your cool and let her go off and do her routine, she will come down and meet you where you were and you can progress. She is testing your reaction and by never overreacting to anything she says you do not have to do anything special. Learn to maintain total composure and communicate that you are in control of yourself and your emotions.

    You cannot allow a woman's energy, emotions and occasional unpredictable behavior take you off course, off your path or purpose, distract you or upset you. She will notice that you have failed the test and her attraction to you will diminish. It is okay for her to have any emotional response she wants - crying or getting upset - but you cannot turn into a girl and communicate in the same way. You also must not react with anger. If you lose control over your emotions it shatters your social value. The way to earn her respect is never to lose your cool and to call her on it calmly. Let her reorient her behavior, communication and mood to yours.


    Once you are able to maintain your composure the next level of handling tests is to have fun with them. After all, you should not view tests as a barrier. The girl is only testing you because she is attracted to you. She does not want to be susceptible to your escalation unless you are really the real deal. In fact, if you have your inner game together you do not even have to mind her tests.

    It can be useful to have a few default comebacks ready to go for the standard tests women throw at you. One-liners that show her that you know what she is trying to do and that you think it is actually kind of cute. Keep in mind that you can give a very poor answer to her slick line, and if you believe in it more then she believed in hers then that will work just as well.

    Whenever you hear a good test think up a comeback for it that you can use the next time you hear it. Or throw it back at another girl and see if she can come up with one. Stealing the cards of women in this way can be great fun. Tests are in many ways similar to the qualification routines used in A3 and C1/C2, so those are great places to throw in a few tests to give her a bit of a challenge in a fun kind of way. Let's look at a few categories of tests you may encounter and how you can handle them.

    Control tests

    One of the ways women screen for high status males is by trying to control you and see if she can make you do her bidding. To handle these tests you can make her do something for you first, rather than outright refusing her. For example, if she asks you to buy her a drink you can respond with, "Why don't you take care of the first round and I'll take care of the second. That's how I do it with my friends." Or you can thumb wrestle her for the drinks and say, "Winner pays". You can do the things she asks for provided that you want to do them, but do not let her manipulate you. She does not want that control. She wants a man who can make his own decisions and who will not submit to her every whim.

    Composure tests

    Women sometimes throw out a zinger to see how you will react. The way to pass these tests is simply to maintain your composure, which is the default response to any kind of test. For example, she may talk about other guys, try to make you jealous or complain about something you do with strong emotions. She is checking to see if you are really an alpha man or if you are just faking it and will buckle under pressure.

    To give an example, when the girl mentions being interested in another guy you could say, "Great, you should go out with him sometime" and give her a smirk. When she complains about something you do, you can interpret it as a compliment – saying "Glad you like it", "Thanks for noticing" or "Is that why you like me so much?" Another way to handle it would be to flip it around as "You must not have very good taste" or "Not classy at all". Or you can step it up a notch with, "That's too bad, because I like doing that a lot". Whatever social pressure she tries to put on you just keep having fun and rolling your game.

    Sex tests

    The woman may whip out the sex card to try and take back control of the interaction. For example, she may say, "You're not getting laid tonight" as a way to try to place you in the role of the pursuer instead of the prize. A comeback for this test would be, for instance, "If I want to get laid tonight I will. There are plenty of women out there." Any time the girl attempts to place you in a role that is not of your choosing you should reaffirm to her what your role is. She may try to get you to qualify yourself to her, impress her or be submissive to her. In any event, give her an answer that reaffirms your role as the lover and the prize.

    The sex card may also be used to see if you will be cool when things turn more sexual. Consider the following line girls like to use: "We're not going to sleep together". Looking only at the words, most men would take this to mean that she did not want to sleep with them. However, looking beyond the words to the meaning behind them lets you realize that she is thinking about sleeping with you. However, she does not want you to expect sex and so she throws this test to see if you will stay with her regardless. To handle it you can just acknowledge her concern, for example by saying, "That's totally cool", and continue forward.

    Boundary tests

    The girl may try to push your boundaries to see what level of behavior you will accept. To a large extent, you teach her how to treat you by how you respond to this behavior. If you allow her to get away with bad behavior it will only get worse. It is very important that you have a clear line for what kind of behavior you will respond to, and what kind of behavior you will just blow off and not even acknowledge. You want to encourage the girl to be on her best behavior around you and show her firmly that you do not accept second class behavior if she steps out of line. This may require a bit of verbal sparring, but it is better than the alternative where you allow her to treat you badly in any way.

    Integrity tests

    Some tests are designed to judge your integrity, to see if you will be honest with her or if you will lie to please her or gain something from her. These tests may be the easiest ones to handle as the best answer is to be totally forthright with your beliefs and opinions. For example, the girl may ask if you are a player, how many girls you have had, what you are looking for in a woman or what you want in a relationship. Whenever a question like this comes up, you should be brutally honest. Do not treat her with kid gloves by telling her what you think she wants to hear. Tell her how it really is. When you say exactly what you are about a lot of times it ends up being what she wants to hear. It may be the opposite of all the ideals she holds in her head, but the honesty demonstrated will still boost the attraction. It will be a breath of fresh air to her compared with all the guys who lie to try and sleep with her.

    Boyfriend tests

    Though often not used as a test, the "I have a boyfriend" line is one that guys tend to have a problem handling. It is important to realize that when you approach an attractive woman she is unlikely to be single. Girls of quality are seldom single for any long period of time and will often have a new boyfriend in place before leaving their old one. At the very least she has some guy taking care of her needs somewhere that she can call her boyfriend as an excuse to keep low value guys from hitting on her.

    Although she may not be single, this does not necessarily mean that she is unavailable for a sexual relationship. She may rationalize this in a number of ways. Her relationship might not be exclusive, she may be looking to upgrade or she is willing to see you on the side if you are discrete. This may represent a moral dilemma for you, but if so it is one you need to get over. She would not be there flirting with you if she was in a fulfilling, exclusive relationship.

    When you approach a girl you should assume that she is single until proven otherwise. If the girl is in a happy, fulfilling relationship with a boyfriend she loves she will let you know early on. Of course you do not want to mess that up. You can still go for friendship with the girl, knowing that somewhere down the line she may become single. She is also likely to have girlfriends who are similar to her that you can meet through her social circle.

    Oftentimes, if the girl is in a less than fulfilling relationship she will not mention that she has a boyfriend. If she does mention it, pay attention to how she is saying it. She may use it because she wants discretion, because she just wants to be honest with you, or as a smokescreen to slow down the interaction. Either way, when this happens late in the interaction you can assume the boyfriend is someone she is not really in love with and that you can just acknowledge her concern and proceed.

    Body Language

    Our communication is built up of three parts: body language, tonality and words. Out of these, 60% of your communication is conveyed through your body language, 30% through tonality and only 10% through the words you use. Because of this when it comes to generating attraction having the right body language and tonality is crucial. Without those parts the words you use become ineffective.

    Displaying status

    To attract women you want to use high status body language. This is body language that conveys the alpha man characteristics. The dominance and confidence aspects are displayed through the use of large, relaxed and comfortable body language. In turn, humor and warmth are shown through your open and friendly posture and your positive facial expressions. This kind of body language will make women want to be with you, whereas the opposite kind will repel them.


    A powerful way to improve your body language, and social skills in general, is to become more relaxed and comfortable. The more comfortable you are the easier it will be to make girls comfortable being with you. Your humor and conversation topics will also flow more naturally from this relaxed state of mind. This will allow you to have more fun during your interactions as well.

    Regardless of what is going on around you, and whatever social situation you find yourself in, you should be irrationally comfortable, just as if you were hanging out at home. In a high pressure social situation, such as a club, this is easier said than done. One technique you can employ is to imagine that the venue you are in just became your venue. You are now the owner of that venue. Knowing this is your place and you make the rules, your state of mind and body language will change to reflect that.


    Another simple way to enhance your attractiveness is through your posture. This works for both genders, but what constitutes an attractive posture is different. Women use poses that accentuate their attractive body parts and curves to better convey their fitness. Men, on the other hand, use large, dominant poses that emphasize their physical size, strength and grace in order to convey their high status.

    To train your posture you preferably want to find a full-length mirror so you can see the difference. If not, you can just stand up wherever you are. Let’s begin with the basic high status posture. Starting with your lower body, keep your feet slightly more than shoulder distance apart. Let them be flat on the ground, parallel and pointing forward. Distribute your weight evenly across both feet and stand directly over them. Next, let your hands fall naturally to your sides. To feel more comfortable, you can let your index and middle fingers gently touch your thumb.

    As for the upper body, a good way to set things straight is with the hang-by-your-teeth technique. Pretend that there is an iron bar in front of you that you bite down on and use to pull your posture up by the teeth. Feel how it lifts your chest up, pulls your stomach in, straightens your neck and pushes your chin and shoulders back. It sets everything right automatically. Try it now and get a feel for it. You may need to exaggerate it a little bit to get comfortable with it.

    If you feel your shoulders are still hunched forward you can address this by stretching the muscles that run across the front of your shoulders. To do this, fold your hands behind your back. Keep your arms straight and gently stretch them upwards for a few seconds before coming down again. There will be a noticeable improvement in your posture as a result.

    You now have a default high status posture that you can use. From this default posture you can experiment with other poses to see what looks good for you. Everyone has their own style of body language so you need to develop your own poses. For example, to add some cool action to the default pose, turn your toes a bit outwards and lean on one leg. Then put one or both of your thumbs in your pocket or belt. This is another high status pose.

    When you are out meeting people it is good to use open rather than closed body language. For example, if you are holding a drink do not hold it in front of your chest as a barrier. Instead, hold it down to your side from above, and let the hand holding it dangle naturally by your side. It makes you look more comfortable as well as more open to conversation. Likewise, avoid crossing your arms as it signals that you are closed off. Keep your arms open instead to show that you are willing to engage in conversation. You can even hook your thumbs in your back pockets to force open your body language and make yourself look more friendly and approachable.

    Keep in mind that your body language affects your emotions and vice versa. When you stand with a good posture and move in a powerful way it will not only make you seem more confident. It will make you feel more confident as well.


    As you sit down to interact with a girl, you should physically lean back slightly. This lets you look more comfortable and by not leaning in towards her you will not be perceived as needy or as seeking her approval. It will also make the girl more willing to move towards you in a couch scenario. Make sure to keep your back straight and not slouched.

    Keep your legs slightly apart as you lean back. Your feet can either stay below your knees or you can move them out a bit. Another alternative is to put one of your ankles over your knee. These are all high status sitting postures. In contrast, avoid sitting in the feminine manner with your legs closed or crossed. It is masculine to expose your groin and feminine to hide it. Having your legs spread wider than normal can show confidence, but it is a sexually aggressive pose so avoid using it until the girl is attracted to you. As for your hands, you can let them rest comfortably on your legs, arm rest or over the back of the chair.


    Your movements should be relaxed and smooth, as opposed to fast or jerky. It is a good idea to practice slower-than-usual movements and gestures. They will not only make you seem more calm and confident, but will also make you feel more relaxed. You can apply this to all kinds of movements – such as walking, turning, gesturing, breathing and even blinking. Try it a couple of times and notice how it relaxes you.

    When you walk around in a venue you can maintain this slightly slower-than-normal pace. It makes you appear more graceful and comfortable. Furthermore, you should walk with a purpose, like you are going somewhere, even if you are just going to the bathroom. Remember that you own every place you are at, so walk around like it. This confident walk will get noticed by women.

    To make your walk attractive start by assuming the basic high status posture. You can relax this posture a bit when walking, but you want to let it show that the power is there. Keep your legs parallel with each other as you let your hips propel you forward. A good technique to get this high status walk right is to imagine that you are wearing a superhero cape. Walk around a bit with this image in your head to get a feel for it.

    When women do a sexy walk they sway their hips to accentuate and bring attention to that area. The equivalent display for men is to sway their shoulders. With your chest out and back straight you can just allow your shoulders to move naturally back and forth as you walk. At the same time allow your arms to swing from the movements of your shoulders and back.

    Facial expression

    When you are out meeting girls you should try not to appear angry, sad or bored. Any negative states like this will send people running. You instead want to show that you are friendly and fun to be around. The best way to communicate this is with a smile. Not a "nice guy" smile that indicates you want girls' approval, but the confident alpha smile. A smile that shows that you are out to have a good time. Once the interaction has started you can relax the smile a bit, and use it more as a reward for her gaining your approval. You should also smile in between interactions. It shows that you are having fun, which is attractive. The smile also improves your emotional state and makes you more approachable.

    Get in shape

    Fitness is a universally attractive trait for both genders. Although a physically fit body does not contribute as much to a man's attraction value as it does for a woman, a high level of fitness can still be a significant advantage. This is particularly because of the many additional benefits being fit brings you – including an abundance of energy, improved confidence and a greater mood. These benefits will not only improve your social game, but many other areas of your life as well. Similar to style and grooming, a high level of fitness also gives you an instant DHV before you even open your mouth. This makes the process of triggering that initial attraction even easier.

    To improve your fitness do cardio training – such as jogging or swimming. Some modest strength training will not hurt, and can help you to burn fat and bulk up, but the main fitness benefits come from cardio training. Cardio training will also allow you to lose fat and build lean muscles, both of which contribute to your physical attractiveness.

    One way to measure your level of fitness is to measure your percentage of body fat. This can be done conveniently with a body fat measuring scale. Men are typically considered fit if their percentage is below 17% and toned below 13%. If you want to go the extra mile and get a six-pack you will need to reduce that percentage down to the 8–10% range.

    If you feel that you may be carrying around a few extra kilos, an efficient fat loss program is to do 30–45 minutes of cardio training every single day. For maximum fat burn this cardio should be performed first thing in the morning, on an empty stomach. Coupled with a low calorie diet, which is 500 calories below your daily calorie needs, this will allow you to lose around 0.5 kg of fat per week. Once you have gotten in shape you can maintain it either through an active lifestyle or by continuing to exercise two to three times per week.

    For more information on losing weight see my article on weight loss.

    Eye contact

    Eye contact is a powerful way of letting girls know that they are dealing with a real man. When you make eye contact with a woman you are attracted to, you should maintain it and let her be the one who breaks eye contact first. Women are inclined to view a man who looks at them with a steady look as attractive and confident. Without training most men will unconsciously look away, so you will need to practice this.

    During an interaction with a girl the amount of eye contact you give her lets you indicate your level of interest in her and the interaction, and vice versa. When you are speaking, your eye contact tells her that what you say is important. Likewise, when she speaks it shows that you find what she is saying interesting and worth listening to. Too strong or too much eye contact can make her uncomfortable, but too little may make you look uninterested. A good ratio is to look directly at her about two-thirds of the time during a conversational thread between just you and her.

    When you are not looking at her face do not just go straight for her breasts. Even if she is wearing a revealing outfit, staring at her body will make her uncomfortable and it will signal too much interest early on. Resist the temptation and it will make a positive impression.

    Once the girl is attracted to you that is another story. She will then want you to check her out, though you still want to be discreet about it. Sometimes the girl may deliberately present opportunities for you to appreciate her assets by looking away or otherwise flaunting her body to you. As the man you can do the same thing for her and look away while you strike a cool pose. It gives her a chance to admire you sexually without fear of getting caught.

    Be sure not to use too strong eye contact with the girl. Just give her a soft gaze, rather than large bug eyes during the conversation. When you make an overt kino move you can take this a step further and use seductive eye contact. You then let your eyelids relax and drop a bit to make her feel warm and fuzzy inside as you go for the escalation. Be sure to practice these and other kinds of eye contact in the mirror to have them ready to go.


    The way you speak conveys a tremendous amount of information about who you are and how much value you have. Using your voice properly can help you hold a woman’s attention and make what you say more attractive, almost regardless of the words coming out of your mouth. Follow these simple guidelines to improve the way women respond to your voice.

    Make sure to talk loud and clear enough so that the girl can hear you easily. Also slow down your voice to make sure she gets what you are saying. When someone is nervous, they usually speak faster. In contrast, when you slow down your voice it will make you seem more relaxed and in control. When you take your time to make sure your communication is perceived as being important, then you will be perceived as being important as well.

    Be expressive with your vocal tonality and have a smooth rhythm to your speech. Use a tonality that is fun and playful rather than monotonous and boring. You can also deepen your voice a bit by finding the lowest natural pitch of your speaking voice. The confidence this voice demonstrates can be powerfully mesmerizing to women. Following these simple tips – clear, slow and deep – will have a huge impact on the amount of attraction you can build in a woman just from the way you are talking to her.


    Body language is a mostly subconscious way of communicating, so to improve it you need to bring it to your conscious awareness for a while. Take a seven-day period where you decide to become conscious of your body language so that you can make any needed corrections. Throughout this period strive to use high status body language and simultaneously work on eliminating any bad body language habits you may have. These are any habits that make you seem nervous, uncomfortable or submissive – such as scratching, fidgeting, cracking your knuckles, slouching, leaning in or habitually looking down. Eliminating this bad body language is just as important as developing good body language.

    A technique you can use when training your body language is to pretend that you are in a reality TV show and that there is a camera on you at all times. Moreover, the women you are interested in are all going to be watching this video. Better look sharp. Once the seven days are over and you have internalized your high status body language you can let it go back into your subconscious again so you do not have to think about it anymore. It has now become a part of who you are.


    When you go out to meet women the main objective with the way you dress is to increase your attractiveness. This is different between genders. Women dress sexy to enhance their fitness indicators, whereas men dress cool to convey high status. Just as a woman’s attractiveness universally increases with sexy clothes, so too does cool clothing bring about a similar effect for men.

    So what then is cool clothing? In a nutshell, it is clothes which show that you understand style and what looks good on you. It is a way of dressing that differentiates you in a positive way, as opposed to dressing generic or bland. By dressing cool or stylish you essentially get an instant DHV that lets you trigger that initial attraction more easily. Girls take notice of style much more than men do, and if you have a really good style they will wonder who you are.

    Style guidelines

    Dressing cool is not about following trends. While trends change fast, cool changes slow and if you get a cool wardrobe you will not have to change anything for a long time. Likewise, cool clothes do not need to cost a lot of money. Here are some general style guidelines:

    Category – The category of the clothes you wear need to match – such as street, club, sophisticated, classic, casual, etc. For example, combining formal attire with street wear does not work. Some styles are more compatible than others, but you should at least make sure that your clothing items align with each other – including shoes, pants, belt and shirt.
    Colors – Do not have too many colors. Two or three colors are usually ideal, from which you can go with different gradients. Darker colors convey masculinity, but a brighter secondary color can be used to express playfulness.
    Details – Avoid plain clothes. You want interesting details such as text, pictures, patterns or gradients that communicate something about you.
    Clean – Keep your clothes clean and not worn-out. If you wear something that needs to be pressed, make sure it is pressed.
    Size – The clothes should be well fitted. Even if you are not in the best shape, a fitted shirt looks better than a loose one.
    Variation – It is more important to look good every day than to look different, but having a bit of variety does not hurt. With a wardrobe full of cool clothes you will be able to mix and match a lot of different outfits that look good on you.

    If you understand style you can break these rules and have it work. Still, most guys have no idea how to dress cool, let alone how to create their own style, so be sure that you know what you are doing if you do break them.

    Style and venues

    Depending on the venue you are going to you will need to adjust your clothing. You do not wear club gear to a coffee shop, the same as you do not wear casual clothes in a club. As a rule of thumb, when you go out, dress one level more informal than what you expect others to wear in the venue you are going to. If you dress too cool for the venue you will stand out too much and it will cease to be cool.


    Accessories are functionally useless items that you wear to enhance your attractiveness and convey sexuality. You should wear at least one particularly interesting accessory that matches your style. For the day game, one or two small accessories may be enough. For the night game, your accessories can be more extreme and you can have more of them. Here are some examples:

    Jewelry – Wear skillfully crafted jingles, preferably ones with symbolism. For example a necklace, bracelets, rings, ear pieces and other similar items.
    Watch – A classy brand watch can be a good accessory if it matches your style. If the watch is fake choose anything but a Rolex.
    Scarf – A colorful scarf can add some fun.
    Belt – You should wear a belt that matches your shoes.
    Tattoos – Temporary tattoos are fine – a kiss mark on the neck, for example.
    Shades – Raises your coolness like nothing else. You do not need to wear them. You can just let them hang from your shirt.
    Colored lenses – Amplifying your eye color can have a powerful effect.

    In addition to enhancing your attractiveness, accessories invite girls to comment on the item as a way to start a conversation. When a girl does this it means she is attracted to you. She would not come up and mention it otherwise. Have a good story about the accessory prepared when this happens to use as your opener.

    Learn fashion

    It is a good idea to ask women about style. Find one who is into style and bring her along to help you upgrade your wardrobe with some great outfits. Again, the clothes do not have to be expensive. Cool jeans and a great shirt often get you farther then a tailor-made suit. If you are not used to dressing cool, experiment with getting outside your comfort zone. Once you understand what cool is, it will probably feel more natural than you feel now.

    Before Going Out

    When you go out you should be ready to meet someone. Be sure to groom yourself and have the things you may need in your pockets, so that you do not have any excuses not to approach any cute girls you come across.


    You should be well groomed. Regardless of how you look, grooming will translate into sexiness to a woman. Although women are not focusing on appearance, it is important to make the best of what you have. Women see the details, so when you start paying attention to them they will take notice. Most guys can get their looks to at least average easily, and once you are there it becomes all about your personality and ability to convey it.

    Grooming procedures

    Here is a list of things you should do to look good for women. All the things in this list are simple and easy grooming procedures.

    Shower and wash your face.
    Fix your hairstyle. You should have a fresh haircut.
    Hair removal. Trim or shave your body hair. To permanently remove body hair use for instance Silk Flash & Go.
    Wear deodorant and aftershave.
    Wear cologne for the night game. Ex Marc Jacobs for Men or Dolce & Gabbana. One or two sprays on your chest is enough.
    Trim your nose, ears and eye brows.
    Cut your nails.
    Brush your teeth and floss. Whiten teeth if necessary.
    Put chapstick on your lips.

    Your pockets

    Aside from your small wallet and smartphone, there are a few other items that are good to bring along when you go out.

    Chewing gum or breath mints – Improves your oral hygiene after a meal.
    Chapstick – Keeps your lips kissable.
    Tissues or handkerchief – Good to have.
    Business card – Makes girls feel more secure about you.
    Condoms – Aim for success.

    You can store the condoms and business cards in the wallet. Keep it thin by not carrying too much change or plastic around.


    In many social venues alcohol tends to be involved. As a mental stimulant alcohol puts people in a festive mood and acts as a social lubricant. It reduces inhibitions and relaxes the drinker. These effects can be helpful when playing the game as they reduce social frictions and make the interaction progress faster and easier.

    The choice of whether to drink or not is up to you. You certainly do not need to drink to approach girls. In fact, being sober lets you stay sharp and calibrate more accurately where you are and lead the interaction forward more smoothly. If you are in a venue where drinking is the norm – bars, clubs and parties – you can just as well have juice, water or a non-alcoholic beverage instead. Keep in mind that you do not need to drink to induce a party mood. You can just as well make use of emotional management techniques.

    If you feel that the benefits of drinking outweigh the disadvantages then by all means have a drink, but be sure to drink responsibly. You should control your intake so that you can enjoy the benefits without the negative after effects. An adult male can metabolize around 15 grams of pure alcohol per hour. This means: one glass with 50 ml of hard liquor, one 150 ml glass of wine or 400 ml beer or cider (~5%).

    In the first hour an adult man can have two standard drinks to get the benefits from the effects of alcohol – reduced inhibitions, a funnier mood and a talkative state – without becoming impaired or too drunk to flirt, which is a turn-off. After that you can have one standard drink per hour to maintain the effects, which is what your body will burn off. Any more than that will not benefit you. If you manage to keep within these limits you will benefit, and as a bonus no headache next morning. To mitigate the potential after effects of alcohol you should consume water in between drinks to replace the water lost – about 200 ml of water for each alcoholic drink.

    Taking Action

    At this stage you have a solid understanding of the steps involved in the seduction game. Now it is time to put it all together and start applying what you have learned. In order to get an exceptional girl you will need to practice your skill with a lot of girls. If you are not ready when such a girl shows up, you are not going to get a lot of chances. You need to practice. Furthermore, it is unlikely that the kind of girl you want will randomly appear in front of you. You are going to have to go out and audition girls for that role.

    Take the game plan piece by piece, adding one part at a time. You may not feel confident in your ability to go all the way, but adding just one part at a time is not that hard. There may be other areas that you need to work on as well: such as holding interesting conversations, conveying your attractive personality, performing routines, and other areas that have been described in this book. Determine what things you need to practice and create an action plan for yourself.

    How often you decide to go out and train is up to you and your circumstances. You may meet a lot of girls in your day to day life, in which case those are opportunities for you to practice your skill. On the other hand, if there is not an abundance of women where you live and work you can go out to more social areas on the weekends to train. Whatever plan of action you choose make a commitment to it.

    Mental rehearsal

    Before you start practicing the game plan it is a good idea to take a few hours to mentally rehearse it. This will help bridge the gap between your understanding of the plan and your actual execution of it. Go through the whole game plan in your mind, adapted to your own situation and personality. Visualize each phase step by step in detail as they could realistically be played out when everything is going well. Begin with meeting the girl in A1 and go all the way to sleeping with her in S3. Mentally rehearse what you would say, the routines from your cheat sheet you might use, and all the locations, logistics and activities you are likely to go through. See yourself being relaxed and having a good time with the girl while the conversation is flowing effortlessly and naturally.

    Having a game plan scenario thought out in advance like this will allow you to lead the interaction forward more confidently and decisively in accordance with that scenario. It will also build momentum for actually doing it in real life. Additionally, you will have a foundation from which you can improvise. Keep in mind that things will not always go as you plan them. Rather than sticking rigorously to this scenario as a script, you need to be flexible and adapt to changing scenarios as the situation dictates.

    Enjoy yourself

    On the one hand, you need a well thought out game plan to be able to lead the interaction forward smoothly. However, the game plan is only part of the background. You should not be so focused on the next immediate result that you forget to enjoy the process. You want to enjoy yourself, so that it does not really matter if you hook up or not. Realize that most girls just want to have fun. They are not thinking about the future and do not want anything long term. They just want to enjoy themselves with someone who has a good attitude towards life.

    You should cultivate the ability to enjoy yourself no matter what is happening around you. Of course there are things you enjoy more, which you strive for, and things you enjoy less, but the more things you enjoy the happier you will tend to be. You do not need anything external to be happy and you definitely do not want to give any girl the power to take your joy from you. If you can enjoy yourself and genuinely have a good time when you are out meeting girls, it will make things a whole lot easier.

    Good luck.